.saya.gila.conteng.

new blog

2012-01-04T07:08:00.000-08:00

do visit my new blog http://www.myratayeb.blogspot.com

tq~

the final

2011-11-28T06:18:00.000-08:00

Im starting out fresh.

I have to say goodbye to this blog.

Because it doesnt feel me anymore.

It doesnt turn out the way I wan it to be.

Im gonna kept all those memorious posts silently here.

While I moved on to another chapter of my life whilst with a new blog add.

Goodbye~

this blog has been a baby momentum to me.

Thank you for giving me the chance to write~

the end

end.

fitness

2011-11-27T03:44:00.000-08:00

Ive been working out daily to get those fit and healthy body these past few days.

Gosh, its not easy at first!

But, discipline is pretty important when you have the target to fulfilled. If not, you'd just end up like those people who cracking up dreams 27 hours but none was ever to accomplish.

Just pray hard Im not one of em. *pray* because

Im pretty am serious with what Im currently ve doing!

gambatte ne, mira chan!!!! (>0<)/

the end

change

2011-11-17T04:31:00.001-08:00

I had a bummer.

I do not like my current life right now. And when I think back how Ive been living the past month after working, It's absolutely NOT the life Ive been dreaming of.

I needed a change.

I needed to do something extraordinary every week.

every day. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

the end

perfect

2011-11-16T06:18:00.001-08:00

Anyho,

Ill be wearing braces on december. (yay!)

My first appointment was actually last weekend but the price was too crazy, I had my second survey in a proper dental clinic around de palma hotel and the price was way reasonable.

So my 2nd round of first appointment will be on 2nd december.

Im so happy!

Ive been planning to wear those since I was in highschool but my parents wont allow.

They actually dare me to have those when I get a job and have my own money then I can pay all those bills.

and guess wat!!

Im actually paying all those dental appointments using my own money, my own kick and sweats! It took me almost 5 years for my dream to fix this crazy teeth and patient does pays candy.

cant wait!

I know some may have their negative point of views about having braces on per say, changing what has been created by God. But I believe, everyone was created in a perfect form. What changes the beauty was we individual ourselves.

My teeth got jumble back and forth because when I was a kid, during those time when your tooth plucks off like pop corns, I refuse to see the dentist and ends up, my new baby tooth's growth went abnormal.

I create my flaws. I wasnt careful.

So im fixing it, not as perfect as God's beauty creation, I know

but giving me that chance to feel good and confident with myself (of course with a little sacrifices)

Most importantly, what Ive learnt from experience.

Never to point fingers at someone elses flaws. You never know how much it hurt them. deep inside...

deep inside, if they were given a chance to feel beautiful...

the end

not inspired

2011-11-16T05:55:00.000-08:00

I am not inspired to write.

Because I havent been reading much.

I have lost my words and poetical expression.

And its not good.

Probably I should start reading while on trains or buses.

Probably I should start reading during other half and hour lunch break and sacrifice those gossips sessions.

NAH!

Im extremely particular with my surroundings. To me, certain surroundings click in with certain activities. Thats just how things work with me.

For example, I get really sick if I do text sight on moving base like vehicles as stuff.

Thats the reason why I dont do any form of mind interpretation in public trans or even in my own car. Its just wingling off my brain and directly fuel my throat with clear vomit fluid.

Instead of inducing new verbs and terms or even so, experiencing the work of a famous novelis, I actually receive nothing more than just a BAD HEADACHE.

so not worth it.

Plus, people who knew me, myra working hour is all about work. I dont do cheap conversation persay gossip as such (during that time ONLY). That's why my breaking hour is my special time to socialize.

For me, socializing in my current phase of living are totally vital. I did mention on my previous post how weekends in my family dont do holidays. We always crack with family events and stuff. Weekdays are out of the list of considerations because my ayah dont admire night outs.

So, Im actually pretty lonely now. And I miss my friends a lot! If I happen to meet one of them during weekends, no word can describe how priceless those time spending was.

To be honest, Im quite chatty at my office but pfft! my jokes are subsequently clashed by generations differ. Being the youngest do have their pros n cons. When I act my usual crazy mira, they all go...

(0_o) 'err, are you ok?'

I WANT TO LIVE WITH MY FRIENDS!!!! (T0T)O

*sigh*

the end

fatty

2011-11-08T04:04:00.000-08:00

I feel so fat.

Raya Haji was superbly amazing fat.

I dont really do visiting like Aidilfitri celebration. Its more to eating fat.

Many aunties were around and they all are one of those crazy cook fat.

3 days of doing nothing much but eat fat!

FAT! fat! FAT!

the end

be happy

2011-11-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

Something came up and I wasnt feeling so good.

But hiding feelings are not a stranger to me. Im so good at that. Most of the time, people wont even notice I was actually shedding blood tears.

And it has always been wise for me to distract myself with work. And lucky me, work are coming in like rain.

Personally, I think its not healthy for emo individuals like me to let those unhappy thoughts playing in your head like a disease. In fact, its gonna affect the whole YOU as a person and slowly, negativity will start to linger.

by the end of the day, you are nothing less than a miserable human being.

not good.

So, yes. I slit a paper onto the chapter where I was crying my pants off and reopen a new book for a new exciting adventure.

'Ill deal with you later..'

hihi...

So, for now, everyone in my office are starting to open up with me. And seriously, I never expect US to click so well. They drew a smile on my face everyday.

So, ive never got bored.

I cant believe Im saying this but, Im actually looking forward with my daily work everyday~ a new gossip, stories, jokes, work and experience probably?

(especially the fact im being the youngest one...Soooo SPECIAL)

the end

too too

2011-11-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

When you think you have done too much...

more than the usual...

you just need to take a step back, and ask urself.

Should you slow down a little...

Or should you not?

Coz if its hurting you now, probably you should just pause for a while and do something extraordinary in your life.

A distraction.

the end

Seoul, Korea

2011-11-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

Since pre-retired, ayah has been cope up with a bunch of future time waste plans. Oh wait. Thats just too negative. I'll rephrases that...

Since pre-retired, ayah has been cope up with a bunch of future TIME WISE SPENDING.

and of course, (I assume), you have been working for more than a half of your life, would you not want to just chill back and HO HO HOLIDAY?!

yes. Thats exactly what he did.

Few days back, my parent happen to or I would say, had random plan for a vacation and since Im very new in working and obviously still under probation period, I am not taking the risk to ask for an unpaid leave (for a family vacay?)

So, they flew 6 hours and a half leaving me home alone for a few days to....SEOUL KOREA!!!!!!

(Jealous plz)

Well, they just got back yesterday and theres one photo of mommy and ayah was EXTREMELY ADORABLE!!!!!

but ayah warned me not to post it on facebook...or other online posted webbies...

but...they're just so kawaii!...

here goes...

I hope this will be considered as...half-posted...nt really uploaded but its there but not there...

p/s: forgive me ayah~

architecture talk

2011-11-02T06:52:00.000-07:00

Maturely grown.

I love my job.

3 weeks has passed. Another 1 week to reach a month employed. I learn so much and I have no regret what so ever leaving my previous job in Pandan.

Im surrounded by professional teachers. Top excellent architects handling hundreds of A. Mix project. How could I not be grateful for my current stand?

Im gonna work my ass off at this company and putting daily huge amount of effort to preserve my stats because I knew being in my position now, is not something I would call as 'common opportunity'.

My Part 2 plan will be put to rest. Im gonna settle down with my job and gain as much per experience (and money) I can swallow and Im looking forward to local edu base for my Part 2.

Fundamentally, I dont have much money to spare those 2 years both tutorial fees, hostels and cost of living overseas unless I am able to grab aweosme scholarship plus personal bank account spree to accommodate my own studies.

My ayah just got retired and I cant force mommy to pay for my master while she had to pay for Hafiz's education in Egypt. Enough sacking her with my needs. 22 years old is OLD enough to be walking solo and embrace the reality of life/money.

Right?

So hereby I announce.

I totally wanna rock architecture~

the end

'_____'

2011-10-30T04:41:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

My thoughts are dying.

the end

salmon sashimi

2011-10-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

I spend RM5 for my lunch and RM5 for my transportation...EVERYDAY~

and today I was a little gloomy and one thing that can turn my table around was no other than...

SALMON SASHIMI~

it cost me RM15 for one dish...

equals to...

my 3 days lunch

my 3 days transportation fee

p/s: i wanna be rich so that i cn eat salmon sashimi everyday~ :'(

the end

reasons

2011-10-20T05:33:00.000-07:00

nak emo kejap.

kejap je...

mmm...

benci bila org banyak kasi alasan bodo. Alasan x munasabah. Cuba dengar diri sndiri skrg. Sumpa nonsense giler.

Setakat main intonasi, body language, communication wise nak 10/10 tapi isi mcm tin kosong pn x guna jgk kan?

benci bila org jadikan benda lain sebagai penghalang dorg nak buat sumthing sedangkan its so obvious, xde benda pn yg menghalang sebenarnya kecuali diri sndiri.

diri sendiri yang tak cukup gigih nak capaikan impian tu.

klau hati dan molot kata laen, perbuatan laen.

tak tawu mana satu nak percaya...

p/s: a mixture of personal and general-ism...

the end.

english sux

2011-10-15T04:19:00.001-07:00

Good evening.

My sister read my blog.

I was thrilled at first but the feelings went pouring down the lake. Oh wait. I mean 'the feelings change'. because she said my english word was spock spicking here and there.

Oh wait. I mean, 'My english vocabulary was badly practised', it kills her to see her own blood severing the beauty of ENGLISH TERMS!

:p blek!

p/s: in MY BLOG, i dont go by rules. I write in any terms Id like to express. If you dont get the word, then buzzzzzzzzzz~~~~~ *wink2*

the end

Saturday morning

2011-10-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Its saturday morning and Im swimming in the sea of room misery because things was a bit cope up lately. So, I tend to just throw everything here and there without considering the later consequences which I am facing right now and its driving me mad.

Yes.

It does.

Well, finally everythings clear up a little and I can finally feel the air flowing inside the room. I mean fresh air. My turtles have been evoking pee smells all the time. My parents dare to enter me smelly room. Even the Ambi pur doesnt work with the toxicated smell.

So I went googgled the solution behind this and the only manual cheap way to reduce the smell was to feed my turtles in a separate jar. So, da living jar will only be their place to stay and play.

'Ahhh, so the smell comes from the food and poops.'

YUP!

*accidently saw the bundle laundriate to do*

urgh~ got to go...

the end

time travel

2011-10-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Today is my first day spending with ayah. My ayah's finally retired and poor him, he had a lot of adapting to do.

We did our own time travel survey from home to my new job place today and concluded it took about half and hour to reach there but the major concern was the KTM lagging arrivals.

We waited almost 30 minutes for one session train to arrived and that sux!

Im excited and extremely nervous at the same time. And my mind and physics should be ready to pump up with good performance by now.

GOOD LUCK MYRA!! (>0<)O

-the end-

graduation tale

2011-10-12T05:08:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

Everyone are cramping facebooks photos, taggings with graduation pictures.

Well, to be honest.

Mine was still kept lazy in mom's digital camera downstairs, waiting to be uploaded. The cam ve been giving signals at me everytime I walk by it but i pretend to ignore. I was not enough enthusiast to do so.

My graduation day was suppose to be the big super awesome day of my life had turn to a railway cracks. It might be funny later but for now, I was super unhappy.

Leman took his last breath right after my graduation dinner and I sat beside him that night crying my pants off. From the beginning his cute little paws turn white till his body frooze, empty.

The so-called big day tomorrow was meaningless to me. My cute baby leman's gone. I told him to stay alive until i got my scroll in hand. I told him everyday to be strong and see his mommy getting her degree~ T-T

The day.

My whole family gave Leman a proper grave ceremony because we all loved him very much and he brings many happiness to our life.

And the traffic was scary, I arrived at the hall right before the lines start moving. Did not even manage to tip my foot in the event hall, I got stopped by a committee and was told that I GOT THE WRONG ROBE!

They gave me diploma's robe which for god sake how should I know. Later, they prisoned me inside the fitting rooms looking for my robe size and I end up hearing echo's of the opening ceremony, negaraku and iium song from where I stand.

Alone.

Waiting for the right robe to come.

They couldnt find my size and end up giving me one size smaller and the robe was severely broken. I lost count of the pins they attach on me to get it look almost perfect. I was down enough to even care.

I just want everything to end a.s.a.p.

So much for a graduation...

*sigh*

p/s: by the end of the day, mommy ayah and kak long had really made my day. They were the only one who gave me strength to find the courage to outlook a smile on my face. They sprinkled me with their own happy imaginative scenes. Appreciate enough my family was there to support. I love them~

sacrifice for better future

2011-10-12T04:38:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Its been days since I last blogged. I had a hard time coping with my new routine. You know.

Working.

I dashed off to the office at early stake and end up home around 8.30 p.m. due to the bundle works. (I do not complain. I have always enjoyed working countless hours. no pressure)

But my usual online-psyc has been tied on a rope due to exhaustion. So, with no mere intention, I have neglected this blog for quite some time.

Well, back to my story.

Yes. I quit my job.

Its not because it sux. To be true, my boss, my collegue and my new environment was super awesome there. We somehow click well even at the de-vast period of time spending. Those little time feels longer than how the real times tick.

It was extremely hard for my part to say goodbye. I already build a good bond with my boss but at the end of the story, I got to let go to pursue my future dreams.

I agree much that sacrifices has to be made to stand in a better pathways, to drive in a better route, to float in a better boat and to fly in a better plane.

My new environment, sounded a little difficult to go through. Most of it feels a little stranger to me but I should open up my heart and mind in pursuing professional platform. dont I?

And I think this kind of opportunity don't always come knocking on your doors. Its just plain crazy if I'd say 'No' even at the edge of loving my current job. This is my key for better future.

Im sacrificing. They all had been really supportive of me quitting. They think I deserve to be in a better foundation basis. Thank you all for the taughts and care~

Every single one of you stars will be twinkling in my heart forever~

-the end-

dinner

2011-10-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I hate dinners.

But I miss my friends.

the end

let me cry...

2011-10-05T04:53:00.001-07:00

Ya Allah, mengapa wanita sering menangis?

Jawabnya:

Kerana wanita itu unik

Aku ciptakannya sebagai makhluk istimewa,

AKu kuatkan bahunya untuk menjaga anak-anaknya,

AKu lembutkan hatinya untuk memberi rasa aman,

AKu kuatkan rahimnya untuk menyimpan benih manusia

AKu teguhkan peribadinya untuk terus berjuang pada saat yang lain menyerah

,
AKu berikannya naluri untuk mencintai anak-anak dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun,

AKu kuatkan batinnya untuk tetap menyayangi walau dikhianati oleh teman,

Walau disakiti oleh “orang” yang dia sayangi..

Wanita makhluk kuat,

Tetapi jika satu saat dia menangis itu kerana AKu berikannya air mata untuk membasuh luka

batin dan memberi kekuatan baru.

my story: time adaptations

2011-10-03T05:03:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Im exhausted as usual after work and i think today was the worst exhaustion coz I'd got stucked in traffic for an hour only from pandan to my house. And its the same miles as from uia to my house that usually goes around 15 minutes journey.

And I was suppose to stay late at the office to settle my crazy house design but after pray for betterness, Thank Godness, office server suddenly went down right before 6.

So im off home pretty early today and I thought I could be home before 7 and have a quick date with my hafiz but nope.

The traffic was too crazy to fulfil my sincerric request.

*sigh*

Anyways, Ive been observing my batch page in facebook and its annoying! I apologies but honestly, its freaking irritates my eyes with all those stats about people going different future paths; top nor bottom.

I knew it was controversial at first but you know things like this will end up okay later. I call it time adaptations.

I think its pretty normal for people to feel a little uneasy because we have been together for 4 years and suddenly A is on the left, B is on the right, C is top of the mountain, D is swimming underneath the sea.

The fact that you have to freaking write it out on facebook, allowing this people who are in their progress to adapt to somehow regain back those uneasiness and having multiple thoughts about the so-call small matters, just not a thing I would call as a solution.

I know what ur thinking. so, uve heard the rumors?

You know when things are turning ups n downs in your group and it got leak into someone else's ears and it went pouring like crazy and the story might went hyperbolically different from the true matter...

honestly. it makes me sad.

But who really cares right?

And I hate it when other people start asking what was going on because when I try to simplify the story, it end up differently.

The version I felt was in pain but the version im telling people 'who care' was neutral because I wasnt feeling the pain anymore.

I moved on. like i said before, time adaptations.

So, Mrs History, you dont have to come to me and start to reopen the old chapter of life coz I dont really care anymore.

Im happy with my life now and Im actually extremely happy for her.

The happiness doesnt present so well because I knew it from the channel of dark surprises.

but nahhh, already tear off the page and dug it in with the other i so-called rubbish memories.

well, thats my story. the other's are not the same.

the end

sushi freak

2011-10-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Yesterday was robe day!

OMG! Im actually graduating soon! I cant believe it. Time passed so quickly, i barely feel it coming through me. And (slap my face once), am I a working women now?

HAHA! Im so happy!

My sister told me the lines gonna be gruesome tomorrow, so i woke up very early to settle everything by noon and everything went according to plan except for the part me, Ina and Ham decide to cut the lines and we all got screwed.

ADVENTURE!

After I got the robe, we went to a nearby mall and had our FAVOURITE SUSHI!

Happiest guys~ thank you~ (^-^)/

(sushi dah ader new menu for bento set btw, sushi lovers should have a visit and try it out!)

THE END

i love animals. do you?

2011-09-30T07:14:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

Lets screw people who hates animal and even someone who pretends to love animals or pretends to hate them.

SCREW THEM!

SCREW YOU!

ok la.

the least you can do if you hate em, just dont get involved. The fact that you are hitting them like a piece of log is making me fuel with anger, within seconds, I can just run to you and give you a huge punch on the face you jackass!!!!

(lucky you mom and ayah is around)

you and your animal abusive face, making me angry.

Im so angry im basically punching my teddy right now...

urggghhh!!!!!

the end

between money and love

2011-09-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Yes.

Im currently working.

yayyy~~

And my firm was a little laid back type. No pressure. And my boss seems pretty nice even though during lunch, Ive eavesdropped among them saying bad stuff bout him but I dont do early judge.

That is so not myra!

As long as he'd be nice with me, I have no right to let my mouth slip bad words about him. The fact that he's kindly choose me to work with him is mine truly greatfulness!

First day working, I realized how long have I put down my architecture knowledge! My eyes are basically crippled with tears from trying to understand every inch of the drawings!

tender drawings, construction drawings, coding, commands, contract terms, architecture terms!

dem! I AM SO MISSING THIS!

Thank you God for not letting the knowledge dried so quickly. I believed there's still 45% of them left, moisturing in my brain.

Anyho, so far I am happy with my work. I dont mind staying in the office till midnight but ayah insist me balik on time. (urgh~)

You know, when you love what ur doing, money isnt the whole point of you putting those effort. Its about being able to spend ur time doing what u love and gaining all those knowledge seems so worthy!

(rather than spending so much $$ studying and you end up forgetting all those theory edu after done sitting exams)

-the end-

jobs and interviews

2011-09-24T05:07:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

What a Saturday.

When I woke up in the morning, I was basically lying lazy staring at the crocked ceiling. Getting high with wonderlands thoughts.

Suddenly, mommy came up with a cheering idea of shipping me some office wear clothing for my interviews. (well, mom. You did fantastic!!!)

Yes. For those who didnt know. Lately, my outnumbered job application emails has finally responded.

Alhamdulillah. Im so grateful dear Lord Thank You!!!

When I think about it. I was being an ass exxagerator and my patient level seems to have reach zero.

Why?

I couldnt even stand for a month to wait for those firms to respond and what I did was I went all depressed and sick and hating the whole world (despite my parents being a little pushy and created a sort-of panictism vibe around me)

And when I think through, everything was actually went according to MY plan.

Let see...

I apply for my Part 2 in both UIA and Australia and yes.

UIA was doomed, I focus on my Australia application pulak.

While doing those things I decided to take a rest from any sight smell form of architecture basis, I went looking for a part time job. (SUCCESS!)

after the part time adventure, I decided to take the time to settle my Australia application. (SUCCESS!)

After raya, I was hoping to get a job while waiting for the long time result of my furthered study plan. So, I non-stop applying for work for almost a month. (SUCCESS!)

*And now that Im employed I just have to continue working like a normal employee until both my scholarship and Australia application result are release~ (SUCCESS!)

*not yet confirm (another blablabla interviews to go!!) WISH ME LUCK BITCHAHS!! (>0<)/

*kiss my brand new interview attire for good luck charm* 'make me go through~' <---syirik

Future plan...

And if I didnt get to flap my wings to Australia, I could just continue working for a year or so rubbering those experience and knowledge...(gezz, dude. no crime getting those practical training plus self money maker...a double duo benefit!)

'Life is complicated, when you choose to make one'

the end

everything will change

2011-09-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Just came back from kaedfest...

NAH!!!

Well2. that was actually my original plan coz Ive been involved with kaedfest every year. But the online promotion was a little lacky and I couldnt figured what was ongoing fest there.

So. I went there to check it out with a friend. But it took me less than an hour to observe the whole carnival coz I basically exchanging top news and updates with her.

Things have changed. People change. The whole IIUM change. The smell, the heat, the crowd, etc etc.

It feels so different!!!

And I miss the old times. The usual times. The myratayeb time.

Why does the time dick so fast?!

waidaminit! did i said dick? haha~

i mean tick..ehem2~

teettttttt!!!!

the end

little brother story

2011-09-18T20:59:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

Ive decided to take my current livehood stats dilemma a rest through writings for it is an ongoing issues for the time being. So, I dont wanna bored some (is there?) very loyal readers out there with my same ol problemento~

This morning I woke up pretty early. Even the birds still pumping their heated ass in their little tree nest for the cold weather is an obvious sign of deactivation.

I was reluctantly influenced by the sleepish weather as well. I couldnt pushed myself to stand whilst the semi thick blanket of mine are forcefully cuddling my cold shivered body.

My mind was too bored to think or even move a single twitch of brainy impulse because last weekend was extremely packed and today I just wanna lay in my bed~

'truttutu trutututt...dont feel like picking up the phone...'

SHUIISH!!!

*sigh*

ok...

2 days back I had a little fight with my brother. Its a very rare situation because me and my brother, we basically never fights. Fighting was our last season of growing phases like when we were so little and immature. Now, basically. Everything we did we take it as funny and humorous.

Nothing seriously taken and that's how everything works well in our brother-sister hood relationship.

But that particular day was a different story for us.

and what makes me a little sad was. We kinda screwed the bond.

And for us to laugh and make fun on something like we usually does, currently, feels a little off/akward.

and isnt it sad?

:'(

-the end-

fengshui.

2011-09-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Ive deleted my previous post because it somehow gave me this extremely negative vibes.

And i feel more and more miserable every single time I read through it.

(Yes. I basically read my own blog)

*you think thats weird?!!*

screw u...(hihi)

So, here goes myratayeb creating a very positive feng shui around her own blog with feng shuish news and updates!!

1. LEMAN is getting better and better EVERYDAY! wiiiii!!

2. I am so free and happy now for weekends are OVER!!! (i did tell you guys my weekend was never leisurious!)

3. Yesterday I went to neshy's house and get to meetup with old KAED buddies! Rindu giler dorg~ My used to be usual crowd!

4. Me and Apeng are happier everyday!

5. Immah healthy women!

6. next week are KEADFEST! woowwiii!! KAED FEST...KOWT!! WAAA!

7. ...

8. ...

(Suddenly mira started realized theres not much for her to celebrate...)

(--__--)

-the end-

super addicted!

2011-09-17T18:58:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

Im currently crazy with Nicki Minaj: Super Bass.

Cant stop humming the song!!!

SukesukeSukeee!!

\(>0<)/

'booom borommbom boom borombomm bass got that super bass'

the end

stupid i am

2011-09-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Today I was eager to promote my freshly graduate stats official job exhibit in mid valley together with my well prepared copies of my CV~ (10 copies if im not mistaken)

With lightning speed, I stood front entrance fueling with hopes and succession.

(setelah tawaf 3-4 kali keliling job fair tu)

not even a single tear of booth fair anyho related to architecture base!!!!

OMG! I feel so stupid!

My sister did warn me to checkout the booth list before going there but I was so excited and decide to just observe my way thre and who knows, theres a bunch of awesome stuff i might missed if I just judge the whole event thru online webbies~

amek kaw~

padan muka~

(-__-")

the end

kitty sick kitty

2011-09-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Leman is sick.

And myratayeb determine nak make him better.

So Ive started nursing him since last Saturday tapi terpaksa postpone becuase I GOT SICK plak.

My sister keep saying she doesnt know how to feed him the pills.

So yes. Taking care of sick cats are extremely penat...but i really want him to get healthy~

It is so sad to see somecat who used to be very hyper active had turn to a lumber jack.

Leman so cute. Everytime I force him to swallow the pills he'd cried out loud and get very aagry. Then myratayeb had to pamper him with his favourite baby pat on the back about 5 minutes to calm him down.

Then later when I left him on his own, x sampai seminit, I caught him dead asleep.

'Penat menangis ye syg?'

lets all pray for leman to get back to his usual paws!

-the end-

Plan B: I am taking my chances

2011-09-13T02:24:00.000-07:00

Im done filling up my 3 overseas universities forms for my Master in Architecture.

And now, I just have to submit it on Monday at idp, KL.

And just pray.

p/s: 'life is all about taking chances, no matter whether you succeed or fail, what you'll be cherishing is the effort you have put into it'

the end

a good life, healthy living

2011-09-13T02:06:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

It was myratayeb's usual stomach aching phase on the 10th September 2011.

(so i thought it was)

Suddenly, the pain went so wild and painful. My human bare have reach my limit. My eyes start to get teary from holding the excruciating pain and my hands and feet had turn numbed.

Mommy found me rolling on my bed, wet with sick sweat and she and ayah rushed me to the clinic. I had to cut the lines for my aching was an emergency pain. The clinic doctor wasnt so sure what was happening. So, she suggested me to go further checkup at the hospital.

Later on, I was caught having...

...food poisoning and was admitted to the hospital.

Ive been having stomach aching since forever, all and all, my mom suggested me to just go through medical process to check my whole tummy.

4 days of my absence, I am A-OKAY. My tummy is negative from ulcer and any dangerous bacteria. Thank God nothing serious was rolling in. hehe

BEFORE the incident, I was piled with future thought, works and planning.

WHILE it happen. My mind was at pause mode.

NOW, I am ready to go with a positive mind and personality!!

Things happen for a reason and probably, the reason behind all these was God wanted me to took some time to think clearly without stressing myself and see the whole picture of life.

Whatever it is, I shouldnt neglect my health for a good life comes from a healthy good body.

-the end-

another sick kitty on the road

2011-09-13T01:39:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

My new 8 months old kitty: Leman is currently sick.

I wonder, why most of the cats I owned end up having a severe sickness?

Have I done anything wrong?

Mommy gave him good food everyday. I bath him twice a month but I had to stop showering him after he had his first baby flu.

(Dont any of u guys ever mandikan ur cats while they were havin their flu. Not Good!)

I dont locked him up because he's naturally a wild cat. And I think its an animal torture to do so. So I let him out free 24 hours. However, most of the time, he would just sleep outside the porch or on the leather sofa in the house.

*sigh*

Despite all those effort. He's still sick.

Leman might came from a very weak genetic breed. Sebab previously pon, most of his siblings and mommy aunty semua die at early age because of flu and cough. (mcm pelik dulu)

Leman is getting worst day by day. So, im not gonna hope too much. So just prepare myself for the worst. :'(

Lets just pray for him to get healthy~

*amin~

-the end-

i pray

2011-09-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Tonight I wonder. While I was busying myself trying to find the right path for my future. Did others had to face the exact same thing I am basically licking (all those emails, resume, papers, application forms, fees) right now? Or probably there are worst cases than mine.

Whatever.

I dont usually look at the worst. They're not a good self motivater.

Nah..not because Im being ignorant or even ungrateful with what I have. I am totally grateful for the good Lord had bless me but I know I am able to do better. And isnt better is more likely awesomeness than just being in the average crowd?

If you chose to breed in that bubble, I assume you are no risk taker. You're too comfortable being in that comfort zone, you wont realized, that your journey is actually no where.

You're a dead living.

A zombie.

Is that what you want?

Are you born for that?

Well. Some people are.

Whatever.

As long as you're happy.

*ngarut

My point is about being fair. I think the rate of achieving top equality is 0%.

its IMPOSSIBLE!

waidaminit...did you just gave me that look!

look all around you people!!! Some people have to bloody work their asses off but still fail to succeed while others are being so successful, they barely lift a finger to achieve all those effortless blessings!!!!

Its major human social cruelty!

When I turn my mind to God, I realized I was saying bullsyit babble. The Quran already stated yang Allah tu Maha Adil and He knows what He's doing and who am I to judge His perfect plan and creations?

Those people might be 'ON' in terms of educational/future succession tapi bahagian lain dalam hidup which is equally important jugak but we couldnt see it because we are too cursed with the current worldly matters right now.

they might be 'OFF' kat that part. We never know.

Mcm ni la. Just believe that God has His power to give you a successful life as long as you don't give up on trying and keep putting those huge amount of effort you usually does with the decoration of do'a.

Pray.pray.pray and insyallah, God will in return grant your deep wishes.

Life isnt easy. But it is for those who follow the true guidance of the Quran.

the end

road suckers

2011-09-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I totally hate myself today.

Why?

Some people who knew me, know how I sux at road.

Its not that I'm not a good driver, its just that I get lost pretty easily.

Countless times have I face solo breakdown in the car because I was too clueless at where I was at that moment and I have been driving for so long and its driving me mad!

I used to punch myself, n repeatedly saying, 'stopid mira, stopid mira, stopid mira, stopid mira~' when it happened.

Someday, I will conquer the world and explore!

SOMEDAY, my brains = GOOGLE EARTH!!!

someday...

*sigh*

the end

friendship babble

2011-09-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Close friends

Is a massive word for me.

Some people might take it as a pouring rain.

But I don't.

Ramai dah yang berkata, 'myra, kaw nampak sombong giler awal2 kenal dulu'.

Why?

Because I dont befriends with any person I met. I choose whoever meets my eyes and brains. Screw them if they wanna say ugly stuff about me.

Because when they do, I knew they're the ones who know nothing of me. And I dont give a rug.

Eh. dont get me wrong. Its not like your first present to me directly is a total invisibility. You say hi, I'd say hi. It would be rude if I didn't. And 99.9% of myratayeb are usually very friendly later...(if you're cool enough)

'nahh...jokin~' (trying to be funny) (--__--")

I do admit, I have a bunch of awesome friends! Love em.

But close friends are very hard to find. And to be honest, my close friends in heart are merely 10 fingers countable (or may be less). (0_o)

Because as I pursue my life in the semi reality, I realized, these bunch of awesome friends sometimes will only be there for you at awesome moments and the highest reason for them to be hanging with you was with a benefit/advantage for themselves.

I was born feeling happy opening my hands, offering any forms of help to a friend (or strangers sumtimes). It sort of give you that bright feelings when you do.

But the world are extremely cruel. They've change me.

Some friends I know, they literally hanging on me when they needed a hand, and when they don't or maybe they had found better option for them to hang their dependent stake, they would just toss you away, with no goodbye's.

And at worst, when you needed them, they just blew you off as if you meant nothing to them.

*sigh*

When I looked at a person, I don't see all those money, bags & shoes collection, your f huge car or your pretty face.

What I saw was your glittering heart, actions and the way you think and all these has always been my major point of attraction. (& only then, those stated above would eventually grow in my mind..hehe~)

'i love your hair'

'you f rich!!!'

'thats a lot of shoe there, girl friend~'

hehehe~

*another sigh*

Secretly, my regret was not having a bunch of awesome friends, doing everything together and having fun travelling/exploring the world.

But then again...

...when I think about it over and over again.

myratayeb didn't actually missed that much...

Coz these close friends she preserved in heart, are much more worth cherished~

(at least I know when I fall, you'd be there for me)

\(^-^)/ wii~

the end :)

give = take

2011-09-03T03:13:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Im writing this because Im trying to make me understands.

God. Make me understand.

How could you expect others to entertain your interest but when the world turns the opposite way, you just dont give a sh*t?

the end

room disorder

2011-09-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

my room's a mess. no kiddin.

I have sorted out my closet and still theres a bunch of stuff to handle.

You know, If i were given a chance to decide. I would like to throw away every single thing in my room until its peachy clear. Then, I would slowly rearrange everything in good order.

Theres just too much stuff!!! >< and i cant take it anymore!!

First of all, I would die to toss away ayah's old P&C documents piling up underneath my bed. He's retiring this year so I would love to offer him a free burn-the-paper service if he lets me to.

Second, I would die to throw away my old study table set which seems to have just waiting for its moment to stumble and kill me while im blogging. And the colorful kiddy design which I used to adore when I was a kid now, is a total eye aching. SO UNCOOL!

Third, is my high school decorative box collection which during tht time, I thought I was the most awesome kid in town. Knowing her way to store her stuff aka ikea like. But somehow, the girlish boxes doesnt impress me no more. (BUANG!)

Fourth, is my picture frame hanging silently on my room wall. my immature face trying to look like a model disgust me. ewww... I even put stickers on top of it to somehow make it look hilarious at certain ways but....anyways! (BUANG!)

Fifth, is my old penguin dustbin yang bila pijak kaki dier, the cover 'supose to' open. Now, even how hard I step on its little tiny foot, the penguin doesnt seem to respond. So, everytime nak buang smpah, kena angkt the top sndiri...

Sixth, is my disastrous walls and ceilings!! Dulu my house ader water tank leakage problem and dah affect my room (only!) and theres one portion of my wall and ceiling dah paint-damaged.

So yes, im dying to repaint my whole room and this time I want to pick the color, mommy!!

(>-<)o

Seventh, is my penyangkut baju yang somehow doesnt act like one anymore. Every time I try to hang my clothes, within seconds, everything fell down. *annoyed*

please pretty please mommy ayah. LET ME REDESIGN MY ROOM INTERIOR!!!

or else, I will rent a house to settle my bachelor phase.

hihihihi <---kejam gila

the end

let raya speaks...

2011-09-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

return from raya

2011-09-02T04:37:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I have gone for a week and has finally came back home safely. Friday's traffic was still secure from jams. It was wise of ayah not to decide to be back on weekends. I presume it will be hectic!

I manage to snap average number of raya pictures. Nevertheless, I am satisfy with the outcome. My new Galaxy phone seems to have had its aesthetic beauty of capturing photo even though Im not quite sure of its camera details megapixels as such.

Both raya and ramadhan had taught me a lot of cool lessons to be practised and learn. Insyallah, those knowledge will continue to shine in heart even at the state of devils loitering everywhere. hihi~ (mcm skrg ni la...OMG! i can feel them!!! they're asking me to continue blogging smpi terlepas waktu maghrib!)

gtg!!!

p/s: raya pictures will be uploaded sooner or later~ ;)

'Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dearest myratayeb blog followeres~ Maaf zahir dan batin...'

the end

Part 2: expectations

2011-08-25T04:57:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I wanted to talk about expectations.

Expectation is a feeling. I might say it can closely define as such: sad, angry, happy, etc.

Expectation is a dual expression.

One. towards yourself.

Two. towards others.

For instant,

One) I expect myself to score very well for the past semester because I have worked extremely hard!

Two) I expect you to give me a dem good result for I have work very hard for the past semester!

When both are fail to reach the expectation, there goes disappointment.

'I am very dissapointed with myself for not scoring'

'She dissapoints me for not giving me good grades'

you see?

Expectations are part of our social circle. They're everywhere. Any humans cant deny the fact that they owned this expectations.

Expectations lived in our soul. Sleep in our body and always there, playing with our minds and hearts.

The question is, are they good? or an evil reflection to our mind?

as myratayeb punya prinsip hidup,

'SEMUA BENDA DALAM DUNIA NI ADA BAIK BURUK!!!!'

(termasuk yg bernafas spt manusia)

so, the good thing about having expectations are:

- it somehow motivates me to reach a certain target or in other word, expectations!

...

and the bad thing about it:

- its a curse to relationships: friends, family, staff, boss, etc

'I EXPECT YOU TO WORK LIKE ROBOT BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU GAVE ME?!!!'

'I EXPECT YOU TO BE A GOOD FRIEND, BUT YOU'RE NOT~'

'I EXPECT MY DAUGHTER TO SIT AT HOME AND BE WITH HER FAMILY!'

so, yes. expectations give birth to war. However, it depends on how you take other people's expectations.

positive way: is to just stay calm and think about it. Is it true you're not being a good person by doing so? is it bad for not being what he/she expected? what will the world be like if you toptop their expectation? will it make the world a better place?

yes!

then try to change. Other words, develop urself as a human.

no!

then just folow ur heart. Theres a moral of a certain fairy tale which I cant remember tells us not to satisfy everyone's needs (or expectations!), you gotta used that brain of urs yg Tuhan dah ciptakan sempurna to decide what is right or wrong.

YOU CANT SATISFY EVERYONE!

negative way: is not to give a tiny damn about it and just dance your own floor.

WRONG!

kita ni hidup bermasyarakat. When we acted this way, we are actually being IGNORANT!

...Tuhan tak suka manusia yang IGNORANT!

so dont be!

yang memegang role expectation tu plak, try to understand. People are different. Dont expect too much on people as if they have the same mind as urs.

NO!

and even if you did expect the right thing, time is precious for them to try to build a good character based on yours n other expectations.

So, no pressure. Coz im sure you have experience not being able to fulfill certain someone's expectation as well and how does that make you feel?

'please be more considerate and not to think of ur own shoe je!!'

kannnnnnn~~~~~~

the end

at times like this...

2011-08-23T05:20:00.000-07:00

Forgive me if this post makes you vomit blood or even get eye-aching reading through the texts.

I just miss my boyfriend so much.

At times like this, having him as a distraction was at best solution for me. He always love to change my book chapter coz he's no good at rewriting it. But it works for me.

He and his floating mind will leave me silence, which feels like forever and out of a sudden, he came out with the most funny solution which to me was the worst but...he's adorable.

*sigh*

be back soon taw syg. I really miss you~ :'(((

I really do.

the end

second chance

2011-08-23T00:48:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I have been quite demotivate with my future lately. Slowly, one by one of my future steps got rip off leaving very few little steps, further pushing me down from reaching to the top.

I built 3 special doors, now 2 of them seems to be tightly locked. And Im still searching for the keys. I still want to believe theres hope. I still do.

Im not totally given up. But currently, Im feeling a little less enthusiastic with everything.

I cant force a smile when my heart is sinking. *sigh*

however, myratayeb is now slowly gaining spirits. Slowly move her baby steps upwards. Feeling a little nausea with the whole rejection but I still manage to hold on.

Today, I went out to search for a perfect raya shoe but none of the design successfully met my interest...my mind was a too trembling with future-phobia. The collection seems dull and funny.

Mom asked, or maybe ordered would be more ideal, me to stop by uia and appeal but I was to disappointed, Im just not ready to beg for a second chance. Hell, I just knew I wasn't the chosen one and im not even in their original list. What does that make me feel?

You might say

'Myra! skip the whole depression or else your losing everything!!???'

is it?

the end

quality or quantity?

2011-08-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I'll be spending on clothes today. So yes, IM EXCITED!

Im a big spender on clothes. Honestly.

However, I have stopped spending after I was place in a university bubble. Why?

Because, I think during that particular phase of life, money was more vital towards food and entertainment. There were no extras out of it. (damn you teenagers!)

So myratayeb started to really jarang beli baju but once I went shipping, the quality ones has always caught my eyes. I dont mind spending a lot of money on clothes for I prefer it to be comfortable and made of good materials.

I dont get it with some people who love buying 'beli satu percuma lima tshirt'.

You see, they might sounded good in quantity but the quality was so-so. After you wore a couple of times, it turn out to be rough or seasoned.

Can you see the difference?

You can actually buy one awesome t's that will last forever!!!! (exaggerating) equals to you buying those cheap, huge number or tshirt over and over again...

Gotta be wise people~

Dont you judge on me people.

I have my poor moments as well. Thats why my shopping spirits only comes once in a blue moon. It looks crazy when the spree was on roll but when it stops, Im just an ordinary human with several repetition attire. So, dont give me that spoilt rich looks, Im no rich. Im totally moderate. Trust me.

Ill be off break fasting with several CBN-ers today in midvalley. Bump on any of familiar faces there hopefully~

XOXO

the end

death is around you

2011-08-21T05:40:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

My family never make weekends as a resting checkpoint of the week. If you want me to be honest, weekends was my total exhaustion days. Im basically grew in a family who prefer to do things rather than 'sit back and relax' and let the time sway like it aint value a thing.

So, I would say its totally a good thing. Quran even stated that, 'Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu di dalam kerugian~'

time peeps, time~

Whatever it is, I still manage to sleep the whole evening today after travel to Melaka-BBBangi-KL. (I just hate long hours vehicle travel) *it never fail to make me feel totally sick and fatigue

Anyhow, went to Melaka and the whole family was there to celebrate Ramadhan with my dearest atuk. He looks pretty cheerful seeing all his beloved children and grandchild was there to cherish this holistic month with him.

Then, went to BBBangi to meetup with my Uncle who just came back from Canada after a month work trip. He'll be going there again next month until December. I was so jealous but at his perceptive of his own lucky life, he rather lived in Malaysia for the weather was to cold for him to bear.

Tomorrow ill be goin to klcc to ship some new clothes session of myratayeb. I just bought a set of facial treatment cost me 200++ (i cnsider it to be reasonable for it can last for more than a year)

lol!

and i need a pair of new jeans and pants. my jeans are losing my waist. (not because im torning down!). The material got season and loose. A friend told me, 'its a sign of death...my jeans are dying~'

Everything in the world, have an ending knot. Human die. Things we created broken. Nothing actually last forever. Even the world someday will come to an end....

Actually...

I just experiencing a family in her before death phase. And it freaks me out. After she had her kidney surgery, the doctor said there was no hope. Her internal organ was hanging. None was well function. But a minute after she woke up from her surgery sleep, she went bizarre.

She screams and said nonsense things like,

'mana keranda ak?!'

'ak belum nak matiii!!! Aku tak bole pergii!?'

'KAW BLAHHH! SAPER KAWWW??' (saying to her child)

it was scary.

(keeping myratayeb's opinion about the whole scene to herself)

the end

shopoholic is a cure

2011-08-18T23:43:00.002-07:00

Salam people.

These past few days of 'menganggur', I have been spending my money in a state of self satisfaction. Honestly, the paid was good but personally, its not worth to be kept for future use.

Why?

Because I think the money are nothing more or less, dirty. I have been talking candy about my part time job but inside, the people was actually a major human disappointment.

They took innocent people's money to gain their own wealth and sometimes, the charges was illogical, watching the victim state of poorness, this is pure evil.

I was only their slaves of cruelty. Nothing I could do about it. All i know was to push my butt on this job sincerely and not to forget my core attention was to filled my holiday.

So, oh well~ Im currently spending the $ with all my heart and I have never felt happier. Got to spend your own money, on your own will, getting the stuff YOU want to do.

priceless!

Some of you might not know this, but Im a crazy hair-doers! I love to play games with my hair coz it satisfies me....A LOT! And I just spend close to 30 percent of my salary for it!

and a minutes ago...

i juz bought a new phone!!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!

okok...I know some of my followers were thinking, 'bukan ke mira baru je beli phone ke?'

Well, to be honest. I hate the phone except for the HD video. The rest was average. And you must be wondering, what phone did I just bought with MY own pocket money....

\(^0^)/ YADA YADA YADA!!!

the end

finally home

2011-08-17T05:30:00.001-07:00

Salam people.

Yes. I am finally home. Another week job was shorten to today and this afternoon was my final hotel/work checkout.

All of my group kinda expected the ending work due to the unusually rare PATI visitors to had had come registered their thumb prints daily.

Reaching 20 registration form was close to impossible.

Breathing flowers of living, my new friends and environment had taught me a lot about the principle of working together. (hectic work i should mention) and the fact that being with them for 18 hours a day in 2 weeks was enough to make us recognize each other's nose.

I am currently sitting at home, blogging and akwardly starting up my used to be usual phase of housework seems a little off by the rewinding moments working with them in MSN.

The farewell was a blast and sad. I'm gonna miss them a lot!!! a big friendship Myra had dream of has finally come true. :)

Now, i got to distract myself with big spending!!!!!!!!! $$$ Plus, my brother's home, I dont have to be home alone any more...erm...i mean, for the next 30 days until he gets back to Egypt.

p/s: the memories remain in heart forever...

'mommy ayah rindu sgt dekat kak ngah...'

:')

the end

i miss you

2011-08-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

In a blink or two, 2 weeks work has passed. The work was extend for another week and then I'll be able to dance home with full bottle of satisfactions. (and $)

Yesterday, she handed me a piece of wonder paper. Catching it flipping through the fans, the writings had caught me speechless. As I read through it, I was basically light headed.

My very first pay check.

I know some of you out there think I was being exxagerate, but I have never work in my life. Getting paid for ruthless works feels reality! No more full time work in studio and having to face damage working attitutes for nothing, getting paid feels worth sacrificed.

Today I was actually sent by the head captain to work somewhere in Petaling Jaya.

But the people there in Petaling wasnt really well prepared for our work space. Lucky me my friend here called Syeina apparently living near the area.

So, here I am, being again lucky. I manage to steal her internet connections to embrace my blogging passions.

*but it felt a little akward watching the whole family reunite and did house chores and cleaning while im silently blogging at the corner, refuse to involved

mmm....

p/s: i might be denying this, but I think Im starting to missed my home and my family. Ramadhan without them feel so...different. (and im getting bored with bazaar foods and fast food restaurant)

'my dear boyfriend too had already left me flown to the other coast of Malaysia for weeks. I think, deep inside, I feel a little lonely from my usual presence'

Myra just got to be strong.

<(=_=)>

Experience worth breathing

2011-08-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

I thought I would'nt have the chance to submit myself with online blogging. But, special thanks to my new friends: Najiha/G-ha, who is kind enough to lend me her small hp lappy, allowing me to update my .saya.gila.conteng.

After 4 days of working, I am currently breathing candy. New friends, new life cycle and extreme new environment! I think I'm facing another phase of adulthood. Experience had taught me a lot of things and I have no regret for taking this non-architecture-related-part-time job.

At first, I thought it was gonna be hard. But...it was. *lol*

However, every rolling cycle of it seems to be a whole lot of fun because of the people. I know it has only been 4 days but it feels like a year. Maybe because of the time spending and reckless bundle of works and waits.

Being apart from my usual home chores routine, honestly, was one of my greatest decision making.

'Mommy, ayah. I'm sorry for leaving both of you during this holistic month of the year. But, for once in my life, I wanted to lead my own life. I have never felt so...so....spirited. Being independent has always been my dream ever since I started feels a twitched of embarrassment having to rely much on both of you.

and thank you for finally understands me and even supported me from the beginning til now.

love you''

Tomorrow I might be travel somewhere at the north side of Semenanjung Malaysia. Outstation branches needed more staff for the registrations. Wish me luck~

the end

jealousy

2011-08-01T08:19:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

Oh, before I start delivering my mind, I would sincerely wish all of you a happy Ramadhan celebration. I myself have made my very own check list I so-called 'azam baru' for this holistic month of the year.

may Allah give me good strength to realizes those dreams. (realistic one of coz!)

Amin~

Anyhow, my topic for today is jealousy. This topic might be a little personal related, I apologize.

Ive heard a lot of people mouthing about girls being irrational when it comes to jealousy. But I do not agree. I dont entertain sexism here and nowadays, I do not see the difference between these two gender.

Come on, open your eyes. Even the wordly events can tell us issues relating to jealousy never compromise through gender.

Lelaki ada, perempuan pun ada.

So, why put such labels?

Somehow, I see, this might be a medium for you (any person) to feel superiorly rational in everything and making the other person to look as if he/she was a little less wiser than you.

However, I do agree that the source of such evil feelings was between lack of trust and love. Maybe we should cherished the love more and therefore, the trust would eventually grow wild.

And we as a person should always be sensitive on how we act with others and how will it affect to the ones we love the most.

"perasaan ni adalah ciptaan Tuhan yang terindah". So, this is not a game and by taking it lightly, doesnt make you look a lot wiser than other people.

the end

life's a climb

2011-07-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

Salam people.

The briefing went out quite...how do I say this, mmm...

surprising~

My working hour was dragged to 18 hours per day and there might be some outstation travelling happen. But what makes my heart willing to sacrifice those weighty responsibilities was the cut out due.

From a month working to 2 weeks of human torture. I think 2 weeks is good.

Now, Im no longer looking forward on the money, but more to the experience of hardcore work. I have been dreaming for a day like this. You might not know this, but I have longed for a heavy, torturious work load.

Why?

Because myratayeb percaya, kalau kita nak senang, kenalah bersusah2 dulu. I dont believe in immediate wealth. To me, that's just bullshitto.

Some people (like our parents) might be worried sick having to witness me (their own daughter) being treated like a robot, but the silent candy out of it was physical and emotion preparation strategies.

Lain kali, when I'll be facing hell of work, I might say to the future me

'Alaaaah, I can handle this kind of pressure. Come on, myra. You can do it. 'You've been through worst!'

hehe~ :)

Anyhow,

I've been having my usual drama with mommy. She seems to enjoy putting a huge blame on me for such a minor mistakes. It hurts.

(and it hurts even more when the fact that those tiny mistakes was something occur to her as well but I didnt go bursting anger at her. In fact, I just laugh about it and told her not to do it again *in a friendly way*)

I know some things I did was wrong and most of the time it was unintentional, she doesnt have to be so mean to me as if forgiveness never exist. :'(

Hard teaching dont work for a lovely soul like me....yes. I might look like a rockstar bitch to you, but im actually cherished delicacy better.

hard teaching will only bring me to rebel~

the end

morning breeze at noon

2011-07-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

morning.

yeah, i know. its already noon~

what usually wakes me up is the striking sunlight and the heat by 9-10 a.m. temp. I couldnt bare the warmness out of it and its not myratayeb's comfort sleeping atmosphere.

However, today. Had brought me drag dreams till noon because of the rainy weather. (hihihi) Its so cold and comfy to be lying lazy underneath my fluffed pillow and blanket, my brain couldnt seem to figure how to move a muscle of this ideal comfort body.

yipi!

I had to be home alone for 2 days because of my work call. I think for these whole month of Ramadhan (dgn izin Tuhan), if my job were straightaway playing with no pauses/stops for a month they promise, there's gonna be a lot of home alones i'll be practising in the future.

My family is basically in Melaka celebrating a P&C event and Im happy for the one who deserves to be happy (to-secret-to-tell!!) happy happy happy and forgive me, I didnt manage to join in the celebration.

gomen neee~

Now is already 12.04 p.m. and my heart starts pumping upbeat tempo. Briefing session will starts at 2.00 p.m.

'dup dup dap dap dup dap dup dup dap dap!!'

my work brief ws spose to be yesterday at a hotel nearby but it end up cancelled due to the government (their blaming base). I'm just merely following their schedule and displaying in and out of a really good follower.

Buat apa nak berlagak boss, if you dont really know what you're doing kan? So, I dont really compromise how they sort things out at this early bird stage.

Ok, Ive babled much~ thank you for reading top to bottom. Even if you just simply scroll the whole thing, is a worth appreciation from myratayeb, personally.

the end

evil

2011-07-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forgotten how the world really works.

I forgotten that not all we plan are accordingly.

I forgotten that sometimes, evil just came by our path to say HELLo and I found myself lying dead on the ground, taking my time to recover from the pain till I could use my own energy and strength to stand up and move ahead.

I forgotten you, evil bastards~

p/s: next time, I must always be prepared for later when the evil comes, Im gonna kick u really hard, ur goin back where u r spose to be...HELLo!

the end

clearance

2011-07-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

I went to UIA to settled my clearance before graduation, and everything was goin out so well, from library to the mahallah, until Ive reach my bottom tops at the finance unit.

I remember 2 semester's back, I wanted to close my finance chapter, therefore, I have already asked them to total up my final closure account and they told me I got RM190.00 left to pay.

Back and forth of time, I paid with RM200.00 cash extra Rm10.00 (sedekah)

Flying off with rainbows, Im clearing my financial statement with the RM130.00 graduation fees and my lidv payment. As I submitted the receipt thing at the financial unit, they suddenly called up my name and told me I had balance and my clearance plan wasnt settle (yet).

I got up to my feet and took the paper from her hands and in my grandparent's ghostly shockingness!!!! I have about RM400! LEFT TO BE PAID!!!! (0_0)!

I was so pissed off, I asked them out how could such things happen. And they could only give me such lame excuses and I was so angry on how they handle the student's money. MY MONEY! urgh~

menyusahkan org bukan~? lucky me I can just drive here in less than 10 minutes~

ok, now im off to finally settle my fee's~

chow! (^0-)n

facebook

2011-07-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

any kind hearted people out there can teach me how to make a group in facebook?

oh, wait. i'll googled then...

*between independecy and willingness to learn from others*

p/s: which one's better?

the end

spoilt me

2011-07-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

mommy ayah...

...spoilt me when they're home

i tink i need to rent a house...

INDEPENDENT SUCKO!!!

(>0<)O

when they're gone

2011-07-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

hawdy people,

last night I've been mouth spitting with my dear friend through the phone and later it dings me how i miss having friends around.

Those gossips, stories, fights, loves, humoric, crazy, sad, crying and friendly moments feels far apart.

I'm just not ready to leave education surroundings. Please let me continue my Part 2, God.

p/s: gonna be shipping kain baju for my graduation day~ yipii!

The end

jaw drop

2011-07-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

How was the interview?

It was superb!!! And the boss gave me a lot of jaw drops sacrifices I have to make and I knew if I was being unsure with the task, they would not pick me to involved with the whole project.

I went there pretty early (as u all know before) and when I put a dubious confident step inside the shop lots office, the environment seems pretty...casual. The air was filled with narcotise fragrance and guys were mainly manipulating the whole place.

Surprisingly, my boss was a tough woman and to be honest, I did pee-ed a little watching the way she's bragging on about her project missions and stuff.

NO SMS-ing during work

NO FACEBOOK

AND NO CHATTING

pitz! 0--pee-ed my pants

thats not the only jaw dropping moments, I had to work at 9 until 9! (buka puasa food is provided), might be 7 to 9 or even 7-10!! okok...i can handle long hours work shifts, shot me!

'we might going outstations several times, working days are 7 days per week, no more weekends for you and it might be a month or longer , oh, there, I just burn your raya celebration...hihihi'

(0_o") ok....im freaking out (but excited at da same time)

and your salary....mmm

(putting my 100% attention)

RM80-200.....per...DAY!!!! (omfg!!!)

*bygkan molot dah berbuih2 terlantar kt atas meja interview tu*

I WAN TIZ JOB!!!!! o----bdk ni dah lupa dah all those jaw dropping rules~

the end

interview

2011-07-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

worst comes to worst.

My job interview was brought to today instead of friday. (suke2 ati je tuka hari interview last minute) (>-<)O And it brought me dancing in my pajama becuase Im totally screwed up with traffic route. I can never remember roads unless I was driving the car....alone....

Because even at the peak of a company at my side would turn me into a tame little baby cat. I would go purring for direction every minute and every second. Huhu...

So, basically, today is my very FIRST job interview and for the FIRST time in my life, I have actually googled the place and print screen the whole thing for future reference. (i dont feel so good)

(-__-") *tbe2 sakit perut*

now its almost 12, and the interview's gonna start at 3.oopm. I dont wanna end up screaming in the car when the time comes, therefore, yes yes yes, im already in iium (my starting point A googled map direction)

I just hope I wont get lost for hours...or should I'd be venturing the road now?

a friend promise to lead the way but even his shadow is no where in sight. Probably gonna be searching it alone. (if ayah finds out, hes gonna kill me)

what? what? oh, yes.

parents disagree with the job, child refuse to accept and just proceed her own mind blasting plan.

THAT's ME! har har har

oh God, wish me luck, lovers!

the end

who's right/wrong?

2011-07-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

I never said you were right.

I never said you were wrong.

All I knew, I was sad and in pain when I discovered. And I was clueless to where I should put my shattering heart onto, I turn and placed my hands on this blog.

It's not fair because this is merely a one sided fiesta. The other might not sound as guilty is it was written, probably not at all.

But that was it. That was how I felt and I will not deny my feelings. People are different and it will stay till the very end. If you could not accept me for who I am, what more is it there to cherished?

I am very expressive and Ive done a lot of artsy things to settle down with my emotions. I play music, I dance, I sing, I act on stage and I write.

A little more time later, I would just went through my writings and said 'ahh, so this is how it feels like at that moment'. And I'll be laughing about it for a minute or so.

but somehow, this isnt a laughing matter just yet. Coz when things I thought was calming down, the wave from the South are suddenly approaching, with my usual scene of war.

Me and my words.

Maybe, I think maybe someday. It's best for me to just stop blogging and keep my controversial words to myself. Not a public reading materials I spose. Then, no one will be hurt and I will be able to continue my love in writing aka myra's express medium.

the end

money

2011-07-20T01:54:00.000-07:00

money.

I am craving for money.

I want my holidays to be awesome, and i wanna do it and spend it with my own cash. I am done hanging under my parent's nose. It doesnt feel okay about it any longer. Im reaching adulthood and it makes me look like a jerk.

'YOU JERK!' (>0<)O

As my mind kept ignoring the idea of working in firms, a facebook status caught my eyes.

Its a part time job.

This is exactly what I needed for now. It doesnt have anything to do with architecture, just a matter of spending your time and energy with computers and people and walah! You've earn RM80.00 everyday. That is like totally awesome!

My eyes were sparkling with $$ and without further a due, I straight away clicking and double clicking and within a second, my resume was sent. I wasnt hoping much (TIPU), but later, the next morning, I ve received a call from the company and yes, I was called for an interview on friday.

My heart was thumping with flowers and chicken (somethin i love)!! I have never done a part time job in my whole life even get to lick my own fudging money!!!! TAK PERNAH! So, I was really hoping this plan will go on smoothly.

I think the job due was perfect because its gonna start from 1st August until 14th August and on the 15th, my brother will be back Malaysia. And by tht time, I can spend my money like shitting!!! (if i ever gt da job...oh god..plzzzzzzz)

Im collecting money for my hairdo treatment as well as my secret trip to Japan. Im gonna need at least rm2400.00....paling2 pon, if mommy and ayah are planning to give me tht trip as my graduation gift, I would only ask them to pay 1/3 from the exact amount...kui3~

Now, what I need is a good direction to the place (for the interview) and a goofy personality...eh..eh...i mean..GOOD..personality~

p/s: cross me fingers, wish me luck!

the end

im sorry

2011-07-18T03:09:00.000-07:00

Ive watched this vid from youtube about how evil people can be through internet. And it makes me realize my own mistakes...

I know I hadnt been good, maybe through my facebook, formspring, my twitter especially in this blog...Ive never thought of how it would affect others who read my blog, emotionally...

Its pure selfishness, I know. Its just that, I take this blog as my so-called personal expression medium. What I stated here, obviously had something to do with people around me. And probably, one of those people happen to review my post everyday (who knos?)

and it might hav hurt them in any ways (my words can be pretty harsh)

and im sorry~

m(_ _)m

i hope that if u r totally involved, plz take my word as my current irrational angry state. Because, usually, when Im done writing, the feeling soothes away...and i'd be flowery fine.

i dont want to be the mean internet human... Im just a person who likes to write and blog bout how i feel. It really makes me happier doin so~

the end

future planning

2011-07-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

I had been storing the financial report for weeks untouched and it doesnt make me feel okay bout leaving it to dust.

Sometimes, Id get lazy handling the money, I chose to ignore. But, oh well, how long can i bare ignoring the responsibilities. I just cant wait to end the whole thing so that'll manage to dance my holidays.

And the fact that I have to drive back to uia and discuss the issue with the lecturer had just piled up my time and work. Just wanna get it done ASAP.

So, basically now im waiting for a friend to stop by my house. And later we both moved our asses to uia to settle the whole darn english recommendation letter from the office coz it might save me from spending another rm600 for eilts tests. (crazy)

and yesterday I just sign up for jobstreet resume. I was hoping to get a job by september. Id made up my mind to get settling up with all those future options and applications for 2 months due and afterwards I'll be looking forward for job interviews.

Number one, deep in heart, Im dieing to fly overseas. It's not about getting the chance to brag bout it, but its just that I wanna explore and experience studying overboard. Even ayah suggested me to let me open such door as he did went to UK back then and it was a worth experiencing.

number two, if I get da chance to comtinue my part 2 in UIA, it hit my target to get my part 2 done ASAP.

number three is gonna be job search. Which im not truly ready for it but anyhow, these 2 months holiday will be my preparation charge.

I know a lot of them have filled their time with work, but that doesnt jeopardy my decision to take these 2 months rest fully.

Oh God, im nervous with my own future. Whatever You have decided for me to encounter, im sure its the best for myra~ im just shivering with thoughts right now. I can see myself studying aboard, working and even continue doing my part 2 in UIA....

the question is, which is my future reality?

the end

bf's bf

2011-07-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

another weekend is just another day! (perhaps)

Saturday morning went pretty smooth and there were no signs of hectism. (i like).

I have always had an aversion for panics. I can say 8 out of 10 of my mind bursting temper was due to panictism. It's suffocatingly annoying and it makes me go through hell!

That is why some people they are able to produce geniuses work when they're in panic mode but I dont. And do not go pointing fingers at my face saying how ruthlessly SKEMA i was doing my scheme work so early because last minute work will only bring me towards angry+blankness.

(i believe that we do know ourselves better than others and dont get jeopardy by other people's way of achiving coz it might not be wise for you and your WS 'weak &strenght' to follow)

ANYHOW!!!! (Id get drifted by thought very easily, so just slap me when Im starting to bable stuffies)

I finally met my bestfriend's boyfriend today. IF IM NIT MISTAKEN, they have been together for almost 3 years and had a long distance relationships ever since their early bird loves. The distance was my reason for had not yet met this guy who dated my forever friend...

The whole thing was casual and he seems very nice. (because my friend happen to be doing the talking the whole time, his personality seems to get strucked everytime he tries to bloom)

har har har~

anyho, I hope they'll stick till the end~

amin~

and now Im just plain lazy~

the end

expectations

2011-07-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

you know human.

We cant lie to ourselves not having expectations. Even, i mean, ESPECIALLY towards our love ones. Its not the fact that you cant accept each other's weaknesses. Its just that sometimes, you are hoping for something better.

It might be one simple action or even a simple treat but it can truly make your day~

p/s: I'm confused

the end

marriage.

2011-07-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

I went through my usual morning routine, spending up my early session with facebook as such. And I saw a picture of a friend (we were once pretty damn close in highschool, people call us twins!)

and shes married!

my jaw drop 5 feet to the ground and i had to pull it back on the table coz it went boneless of shocknesizm!!!

omg. bestnya.

and her hubby happen to be older and seems purely mature to me and they just had a wonderful honeymoon in PARIS! (>0<)O

p/s: *myra berangan*

the end

oh mommy!

2011-07-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

have you ever had this kind of goosebumps,

when you acted in a way somehow reminds you of someone very very close to you

'omg. A minute ago, I sounded exactly like MOMMY.'

p/s: without realizing my maturity transforming, I am slowly becoming very much like her... *smiling*

1995

teacher: mira, can you tell me who's your idol?

tiny miwa: my mommy! coz to me, shes perfect!

:')

the end

speak up

2011-07-11T19:12:00.000-07:00

solution is what i needed the most...

because ive been swallowing problems in the past, and to me, its a slow motion death. You might be okay about it in a minute, but what you dun realize, it's actually growing silent in your heart...

its not good...

not good!

the end

the Maharani is back

2011-07-11T04:09:00.000-07:00

aisey.

It has only been a day.

And Im already shed tears of gruesomeness!

I think i can see the whole picture of myratayeb rite now.

She's a girl who likes to do wutever she wants and in her own bloody way (its a good/bad thing kinda way). By telly her off won't do any good unless your method is close to an angel's breath, then it'd be okay~

I happen to have had my sprinkling day. Wake up at 9, humming the whole day while doin my usual happy productive solo chores. And when I got that one buzz from the Maharani, bossing me around and tellin me wat to do in her own Maharani way, Id get pissed!!!!

and angry!!!!

*sigh*

bila pikir balik. I cudnt run from it anymore. If i keep on running, when the time I had the chance to go far, I might nt come back for I had not overcome my weaknesses. For I have not yet see the best solution of it. For I have lose my guts to such a teeny tiny problem, and end up destroying my own blood.

myra xnk mcm tu. nanti myra lg sedih. (T-T)>

And im gettin sicked of people telly me off (again). to be patient and to just bear with the Maharani.... (tht is so basic, everyone knows tht! and even if i did imply, it doesnt help me to bits. What dyu tink Ive been doin all these while except for being patient and letting the hot jelly spilled on my face [no screaming])

So, how?

(pikirpikirpikirpikirpikir)

from now on, if the Maharani ever telly me off again, and things between me and Maharani happen to get spikes, I will go, 'wowowoowowowowoowwwww!!!! org tuuuu dahhhh maraaaahhhh!!!! okokokokokkkk...will doooo wutever u wannn meee to doooo!!! so longggg!!! gudbyeeeeee!!! luv you!!! peaceee to the worlddd!!! ASSALAMUALAIKUM!!!!

*trut trut trutttt* -hang up-

-avoiding phone fight-

'HAR HAR HAR HARRR' <---gelak sndiri (no more crying)

p/s: shut up, temper! y did ya get all over my head all the tyme???

the end

last kiss cover

2011-07-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

slow sad song....

not my genre but somehow it caught me singing it over and over~

love em~

b(^-^)d

the end

my sunday

2011-07-10T04:53:00.000-07:00

I was forcefully woken at early sunday morning sbb atuk dah buat announcement kat smua

announcement!
'ANAK2 CUCU2!!! DURIAN DAH JATUH!!! MEH BALIK MEHHH!!!!'
\(^0^)/

p/s: u cn never ignore 'the announcement'

the end

about templates and enemy

2011-07-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

I know.

The due between my previous template and this is extremely close!

I dunno why, the previous one seems to hav been a little eye aching to me and somehow makes me wanna scream out of anger with those striking red colored background!

ARGhhhHHH!!! SaaKitt MaaTAa AKUuuwwW!

so.

bile dah jadi cmni. perasaan nak membaca tu pon deteriorating...

(i wonder wats gotten into me while I was doin my personal selection)

so, yes. I have changed it into more 'eye friendly' colors..*lololz*

anyways, I went through my settings and stuff just to polished wat was needed to be and i found out...that I have....

an ENEMY...

ive been receiving all these hateful comments from an anonymous figure.

he told me to shut my brain with this unworthy dilemma but I cudnt stop myself from wondering...

what have i done so bloody wrong reaching at a point where a person dares to press the button, allowing such hateful words addressing it to...ME.

i mean, tipu la if i told u i havent loath anyone in my life but the fact of making myself unknown to my enemy and act like a winner in a debate competition isnt something I call as a war...

pffFf!

*blank*

-the unworthy dilemma has been deleted-

-emptying recycle bin-

-the end-

kotak HERITAGE

2011-07-08T10:52:00.001-07:00

my man

friends

with lecturer

and my beloved surabaya sunan ampel group

best.heritage.ever

kotak CUTI

2011-07-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

doodge~

i have finally close my chapter in uia residents and are currently resting my body n soul at home....

will this be a forever separation?

i am stil in the haze of curiosity, with my future.

where will it lead me to? I was hoping all three of my options to 50-50-50 <---as if this term even existed?

now, some are workin, others stayed home.

i'll stay....

but not to add more of those lazy fats, but I have a lot to work things out for my future. I cant both sit around n do nuthin or fit my schedule with work since the process will take a lot of time spending...

(yes, i have thought bout tiz a lot!!!!)

worst to worst, home is still a heavy working base for me. Mom and dad are busy working everyday, the house seems to have figured how 'lack of love' they have been going through....since the depart of my last maid and me.... (-__-")

however, i dun wanna whine coz i do love doin housework....its part of me....the whiner button juz happen to occur when the demands are high.

That makes me totally frustrated. Its like, people ORDER u to do things at the beginning u were happy doin it but it turns out to be a huge responsibility....x best~

anyways, my OCD is getting worst these days...i tink its due to the stress. It not a major stress riot, its more to an inner depression...eh..wait...im nt depress...im....worried...yesssss...thts the word...

Mira is worrid sick...

wait a min...i tink ive babbled much~!

toodles~

grad

2011-07-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

im graduating.....

can u believe it!!!

wat the hell!!!! *sore avril lavign*

the end

kotak ANONYMOUS

2011-06-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

I just wanna say here to Mr/Mrs Anonymous.

Whatever Ive spitted out in here is merely a method to gases out those stresses thoughts about others and later Ill figured things out in a positive way....

If you wanna debate about it and happen to taste the bitterness out of my fudging words, come say it TO MY FACE, coz i dont entertain arguments here between my thoughts and yours~

and i know myself so well (even tho sumtimes i do need A FREN to tell me if im wrong), I dont need YOU, Mr/Mrs Anonymous, to tell me how to think....

by ur comment i can tell, u know nothing....but

terima kasih btw~

p/s: and if you happen to be my friend or worst, one of my closest...that wud be so sad~

(whoever created anonymous figure seems to give a way for cowards to speak up...how pathetic)

-the end-

kotak KECIL

2011-06-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

Tick and tock

my final semester is ending....

and it freaks me out!!!!!!!!!!!!

(>0<)O

kotak COMPLAIN

2011-06-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

i have been in a haze of stressfulness in a mind stable way.

im stress for being surrounded with stressful people who mind gettin themselves sucked by the illumination of glabahness although the job cn be done in a wise, time saving way.

im stress for some people who treated me as though my job are like breathing. I cursed you by the end for you are the reason for my distortion work and the fact that now you r flying through rainbows and leaving all the work to the ground were nothing else but selfish...

im stress for the ones who left their leadership duty to thin air and expect things to move like robots without its battery...thee, the battery had to drag its own way to the plug to recharge the whole thing....

but life must go on....and im moving on trying to break through the glass of pointing fingers. i will stop and continue my journey to the bits end of through this flickering adventure...

ive complain enough...now it time to fight...no more past times muffling....

'may good future lies ahead of me or i shall make one instead!!!!!' -myratayeb-

the end

kotak FINALLY!

2011-06-05T00:25:00.000-07:00

hawdy peeps!!! XD

finally!!! after almost 3 to 4 weeks on second hand book shipping planning...

and after 2 weeks fail to wake up early morning to bashed the morning session selling time...

we finally make it to the place!!!!

\(^-^)/ TADAAA!!!!

and i get myself 2 story booksss!!! (SUKE SUKE SUKEEE!!!!)

the place was incredibly best and i wanna ship MORE MORE!!! (after i finish reading those two books liao)...x saba nak bacer! and my dearest pon bought himself one~ yiii~

*satisfaction*

for crazy book readers yang havent had the heart to spend too much of your precious money on books......do come.....PLZ DO!!!

the end

kotak COOLNESS

2011-06-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

this is so cool.....!!!! XDDDD

having thought about shipping new furniture?

....no more ikea people....

theyre here to serve you well.....

heeheeeheeeeeeee

for more infos!!! click kotakinfo

kotak HATI

2011-05-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

y'all~

i have been sleeping the whole time yesterday due to my un healthiness~

anyhow, i went back home early yesterday from since my parents just came back from doin their umrah and mommy and ayah got me a lot of stuff! im so happy!! XD

i had down moments the past few days and im slowly gaining consciousness in terms of my psychology status. im aware with these dark thoughts even though theres nothing dark about it...

i have one small happy family. they ve been raising me so well tht it makes no sense for me to feel unappreciative about it. I shud me a shame of myself...wat more can i ask?

theyre perfect just the way they are~

(^-^)>

anyways, theres been a tumble of competition around me and i kinda getting a little itchy with the vibes...wtv~

the end

kotak FIKIRAN

2011-05-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

i cant do it....

i wanted to do one productively informative blog for me to just share and develop myself but the fact that i have been budging around with low-qua internet services, i cnt seem to make the idea came true!

i am very disapointed!!!

now, since my inner emotion have been growing death and angerism! i juz dont give a **** anymore!!!! waaaahhhhhH!!!!!!!!!! (>0<)O

and tiz kind of expression seems to take a little effort from the low-qua.

MUTUAL! (-0^)d

anyhow, updates updates~

heritage progress seems to progressing well and to be honest, im loving it! I love the fact when i know what to do daily and acting on live stage like one busy career woman seems to inhale satisfactory....

work work work~!

plus, ive been emotionally wonder how this feelings im feelin might be the last. my part 2 agenda is still floating in air. with no wind to direct their path. And working plan has always been my centre of ignorance, but now, the image of me working seems to be in a bundle of probability.

FREAK OUT!

okok...mira...relax....

(wa...puas hati giler blog mcmni)

anyhow, parents xder. they went to do umrah for 10 days. pejam celik pejam, by this tuesday they're back. so i have to be home to welcome them. woudnt it be sad to be back celebrated by an empty house....apa guna ad anak2...

yes, im juz totally good at justifying...but the question is either my act is running or it just stood there and see myself acting nonsense as a child...a minute ago i juz gave one huge reason not to be able to come home...(again)...i wont deny...i hate myself for tht.... one minute i said i will another i wont....

wtuever.... *refuse to think much*

A CAT JUZ GAVE BIRTH TO 4 CUTE KITTIES!!!! under my bed (home)...my sister had this spiritual belief that God had replaced our beloved 'pelik' with 4 new born kitties....

how do i feel about it?

heartless....

u must be wondering why...

well, ive been facing pet's death for several of time now....and now im basically in fear...fear of getting too close/attach with anythin....even tho deep inside i do have a tiny miny feelings of dearly to those kitties but at da same time, my evil thoughts are whispering things like

'they'll die sooner or later. at tht age, death is possible...'

or even

'they'll leave you one day.....trust me'

and what makes me never agree more to those whispers was the fact that ill be unavailable to be their guardian since id be here in mahalah most of my living time and mommy and dad are stil working...(same goes to kak long)

so...yes....be rational when loving a pet...dont give them all this hopes and dreams of a nice place to stay and a good food to serve while u wont gonna be there for them all the time.....u are offically a jerk when u act that way.....

ur torturing them...

ok...ive talked much~

the end

kotak MASA DEPAN

2011-05-17T06:07:00.000-07:00

tortureeee!!!!!

future planning has always been MY major headache. Ive always refuse to think much about it and expect to just follow the flow and see how it goes,

i'll encounter it as much effort as i can...

for now, in a blink of an eye, my 4 years in architecture is ending...

so what i need now is a good future planning for a better future life... (AKU NAK KAYA!)

ok...ignore the monolog..(--__--")

so yes...HOW TO PLAN FOR A SUCCESSFUL FUTURE?????

Get into your bedroom and close the door. Make sure your siblings are watching TV in the living room or playing out side.

Set as many goals as your heart desires. It's free, fun, and easy! To list your dream goal, just click below~ (its FUN FUN FUN!!!!) 'im starting listing down already and its a secret! NOT SHARING! >:p
click me
Go through your life thoroughly. What is your gift? What do you want to be in the future? What is your passion? (i.e., something you would love to do even if you were not paid to do it.)
Write it down. Most of the people who have achieved their dreams took the first step towards achieving them: they wrote them down.
Plan a route to get there. Write down what ever it will take you to reach your dream.
Put your piece of paper where you can see it and remind yourself of your goals.
Work your plan. Put it into action by following the route to your dream. It may mean adjusting a lot of things in your life, but it will be worth it one day.
Start a savings account and deposit 25% of your monthly income. Then when you need to buy a car, etc., you'll already have a lot of what you'll need.
Dismiss negativity and begin to speak your future in the present. This will assimilate into your mind and help you to persevere towards your dream.

Tips

The difference between a big shot and a little shot is that a big shot is just a little shot who kept on shooting!
Talk to your parents, guidance counselors, etc., about what they think you would be good at and how to get there. You may not want to, but remember, they went through this too.

Warnings

Ignore criticism, stay focused.
Don't do drugs.
Believe in yourself.
Know the kind of friends you keep and move around with. Be your own person, not a follower!
Think before you make a move
Think before you act.

DO IT NOW! (>0<)O

kotak BUKU!

2011-05-12T07:15:00.001-07:00

I am indeed hunger for reading materials right now and online basis, cant seem to find any that suits my interest wutsoever.

If any of you guys do find one mind explosive reading web, jangan malu2 and do let me know the link. Coz your dear friend here is dieing to spend her quality time: reading...

I have this major issue on spending (not time) but money on reading materials. Top sale books are always expensive. All those harry potter collections/ top sale books I had was tumpangan from my family/friends.

Lets just say Im the kind who prefer spend her money on clothing rather than books even though I have full interest on both.

So, how do i solve this 'velllyy persssonnaalll' problem of mine?

Id grab 2nd hand books or any jumbo sale boothz!

(it cost like RM5 jer!!! OMG! kill me now!)

Anyho, my dear boyfriend told me about this cool 2nd hand shipping at the AmCorp Mall every Sunday. Well, Im gonna check it out and will review to you guys how does it roll~

The way he explain seems rather fascinating and usually, when the thing he said was 'cool', never fails my expectations. He does have quite a taste there.

Will update soon after the visit..(or shipping maybe...hehehe)

kotak INSIDIOUS

2011-05-09T20:10:00.000-07:00

if any of u guys havent watch INSIDIOUS juz yet...plz remotely stop your pure intention to. Because the movie makes me laugh of akwardness!!!!

its freakin kelakar in a sense tak takot langsung!!!! im dissapointed! ok...now im gonna giv a big round of applause to the trailer maker~

TRAILER MAKER...U ROX!!!!! V(>0<)v

its funny when the image in front of you is so obvious hantu tipu make-up je ni but the actor was so into his acting and trying so hard to convince (even himself).....

*LOL*

(sorry to disappoint any of you horror lovers)

i dont get how the IMDb (internet movie data base) did their ratings?

i mean 7.2 over 10 stars? like...seriously~?

this is the 2nd periodically season ide got ditches by british-american ratings! they are exxageratively criticism liars! oh wait....dont get too emotional, i might culturally born and understand the horror terms differently~

gah! im off~

(>0<)/

kotak DSLR for dummies

2011-05-08T04:34:00.000-07:00

here goes....deciding to buy one dslr camera. dont get annoyed, ive been observing people with dslr for years ever since it was first trend starter around 2009. im getting old and at the tip of my age of discovering. I finally decided to have my own...

im getting pretty sick and tired with handphones+camera techno = FALSE HOPE!

never truly satisfy me... the picture...

well~ tip tap top...

(research manipulating tapping kepboard sound)

How to Decide Which DSLR Camera is for You?

So how do you decide which DSLR to buy? There are an increasing array of them on the market so you have a real choice ahead of you.

Here are a few factors to consider when looking for a DSLR:

1. Price

a good place to start when thinking about buying a DSLR is obviously price. DSLRs price range in price from some quite affordable deals at the lower end to extremely high prices at the professional end. Set yourself a budget for your purchase early on but make sure that you keep in mind that you’ll need to consider other costs of owning one including:

Lenses (some deals offer ‘kit lenses’ but you should consider upgrading – see below for more on this)
Batteries (all models will come with one but if you are travelling you might need a spare)
Memory Cards (some models come with one but most are inadequate in terms of size. Even if you’re lucky enough to have one included you’ll probably want to upgrade to at least a 1 gigabyte card).
Camera Bag (some dealers will throw one in – but once again don’t expect a high quality ‘free’ bag. Your DSLR is something worth protecting – invest in a good bag)
Filters (at the least you’ll want to get a UV filter for each lens you purchase – but you might also want to consider other types down the track also).
Extended Warrantees (there’s a variety of opinions on whether they’re good or not – but they’re worth consideri

2. What will You use it For?

when you head into a camera store to purchase any type of question the first thing most sales people will ask you what type of photography you want to do. It is well worth asking yourself this question up front as it will help you think through the type of features and accessories you’ll need.

Will this be a general purpose camera for recording ‘life’? Are you wanting to travel with the camera? Is it for sports photography? Macro Photography? Low Light Photography? Make a realistic list of the type of photography you will use it for (note I said ‘realistic’ – it’s easy to dream of all kinds of things you’ll photograph – but in reality most of us only do half what we think we will).

3. Size

DSLRs are all more sizeable than compact point and shoot cameras but there is a fair bit of variation in size between them also. Some photographers don’t mind carrying around weighty gear but if you’re going to use it for on the go photography (travel, bushwalking etc) then small and light models can be very handy.

4. Previous Gear

the attractive thing about DSLRs is that in many cases they are compatible with some of the gear you might already have.

This is particularly the case for lenses. The chances are that if you have a film SLR that your lenses might well be compatible with a DSLR made by the same manufacturer. Don’t assume that all lenses will be compatible (particularly older gear) but it’s well worth asking the question as it could save you considerable money.
If you have a point and shoot camera you might also want to look at the type of memory card that it takes as some models of DSLRs could also be compatible with them. This probably won’t be a major consideration as memory cards are considerably cheaper than they used to be but it could be a factor to consider.

5. Resolution

how many megapixels does it have’ is a question that is often one of the first to be asked about a new camera. While I think ‘megapixels’ are sometimes over emphasised (more is not always best) it is a question to consider as DSLRs come with a wide range of megapixel ratings. Megapixels come into play as you consider how you’ll use your images. If you’re looking to print enlargements then more can be good – if you’re just going to print in small sizes or use them for e-mailing friends then it’s not so crucial.

6. Sensor Size

Another related question to consider is how big the image sensor is. The term ‘crop factor’ comes up when you talk about image sensor size – I’ll upack this further in a future article as it’s perhaps a little complicated for the scope of this one. In general a larger sensor has some advantages over a smaller one (although there are costs too). But I’ll unpack this in a future post (stay tuned).

7. Future Upgrades

will you be in a position to upgrade your camera again in the foreseeable future? While entry level DSLRs are attractively priced they tend to date more quickly than higher end models and you run the risk of growing out of them as your expertise grows and you thirst for more professional features. Ask yourself some questions about your current level of expertise in photography and whether you’re the type of person who learns how to master something and then wants to go to a higher model that gives you more control and features. It’s a difficult question but you might find it’s worthwhile to pay a little more in the short term for a model that you can grow into.

8. Other Features

Most DSLRs have a large array of features that will probably overwhelm and confuse you at first as you compare them with one another. All have basic features like the ability to use aperture and shutter priority, auto or manual focus etc but there’s also a lot of variation in what is or isn’t offered. Here are some of the more common features that you might want to consider:

Burst Mode – the ability to shoot a burst of images quickly by just holding down the shutter release – great for sports and action photography. DSLRs vary both in the number of frames that they can shoot per second as well as how many images they can shoot in a single burst.
Maximum Shutter Speed – most DSLRs will have a decent range of speeds available to you but some will have some pretty impressive top speeds which will be very useful if you’re into sports or action photography.
ISO Ratings - Similarly, most DSLRs will offer a good range of ISO settings but some take it to the next level which is useful in low light photography.
LCD Size – It’s amazing how much difference half an inch can make when viewing images on your cameras LCD. I noticed this recently when testing a camera with a 2.5 inch screen after using my own 1.8 inch one. While it might not change the way you shoot photos (people tend to use viewfinders at this level to frame shots) it certainly can be nice to view your shots on a larger screen.
Anti Shake – in the past few weeks a range of new DSLRs have been announced by manufacturers in the lead up to the Christmas rush. One of the features that is featuring more and more in them is anti shake technology. While it’s been common to get ‘image stabilisation’ technology in lenses the idea of it being built into camera bodies is something that is attractive.
Dust Protection – another feature that has started appearing in the latest round of cameras is image sensor dust protection (and in some cases self cleaning for image sensors) – something that will help alleviate a lot of frustration that many DSLR photographers have. To this point this is a feature that is mainly on lower end DSLRs but it’s bound to appear on new professional models also.
Connectivity – Getting photos out of your DSLR and into a computer or printer generally happens these days via USB but some people like FireWire and/or Wireless.
Semi-Auto Modes – As with point and shoot cameras – many DSLRs (especially lower end ones) come with an array of shooting modes. These generally include ‘portrait’, ’sports’, ‘night’ etc. If you rely upon these modes on your point and shoot you may well use them on your DSLR too. Higher end DSLRs often don’t have them.
Flash – Generally professional grade DSLRs don’t offer built in flash and just have a hotshoe while entry level DSLRs include a built in flash.

click kotakDSLR to view top 20 dslr models!!!

kotak TRANSFORMATION!

2011-05-08T03:11:00.000-07:00

announcement: i hereby declaring my blog transformation.

*tunduk pale tanda respect mcm org jepun*

thank you thank you~

do support kotak kosong people!!!!

(did i disapoint any of you?)

GAH!!! <----means i dont care... (--__--")

'video ini' sangat menarik....kih3~

:'(

2011-05-06T03:16:00.000-07:00

im not happy.

im dissapointed.

im hating the world right now.

leave me alone.

the end

2 days left

2011-04-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

another two days, im leaving tiz place....

surprisingly, i feel sad deep inside. i know malaysia is way better than this so-called dodgy, unhygienic place.

however, the value of us working together, getting spank by prof razak together, sweat our pits up together...will always be in out hearts and soul....and the people in surabaya are very very friendly. im gonna miss them all...and the experience....priceless...

to be honest, i was freakishly angry with the team division at first...im not gonna mention specifically here, but u can see it urself, the skill division were unfairly divided. Some were filled with skillful members while others had to learn from the base....

*carutan*

this shudnt hav had happen....

molot kata bwk nama batch but i can stil sense the grouping issue.

however, mira sangat proud dgn my group...we all tried our best to make the best.

when people call us unskillful, we learn. when people dump us like trash, and form us a team, we work as one...

paling terharu skali, kt sini, mira makin close to some yang i tot i cudnt even befrenz with....

yang dah rpt, makin utuh,

pertalian baru di pegang erat... (cheewahhh!!)

anyways, report team ad mention, since the 18th lg, surabaya mmg spread dirahea and muntah2 viruses...so yes, most of our team members were sick...smpikan soalan yg jadi keutamaan was

'dah sihat dah?'

hehe...

so far, i was lucky not to get sick....even the food was brigthly welcoming through tiz tummy. the traditional food did taste different tho taapi to me, acceptable je....xde smpi bdk2 ni...even the smell make them sick....

rindu perpisahan tu xde sgt kt sini since we were doin everything independently...

yes...independently....

chow

the end

surabaya

2011-04-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

salam!

woot woot! again these blog is full of dust....poof poof! im officially here in surabaya where i heard a lot of 'dodgy' terms about this place...well....

it does...

but i dun mind...

as long as the basic needs of mine are well fulfill...food, a nice place to stay and easy route transportation....and alhamdulillah, smuanya lengkap dengan moderate skali.

so, family and friends, if u ever wonder how i am now...im totally fine! so no worries kay! (^^)/

ive been living here for a week now and things were goin ups and downs...too many stories to tell and im glad that we survived till now.

however, theres another week to settle and i hope everything is going well in da future....plz god plz!!!! ><

here in surabaya are, to me, imitating the arabs. some part of the place are covered with arabs background (and surprisingly, they speak indonesian very fluently!!!), even the market are covered with arabic products and sellings mcm jubah, perfumme, ketayap, tasbih....

so, when it comes to shopping stuff for family kt surabaya, all i cn think of are stuff which to me mcm x reflect surabaya sgt but more to brg2 dr arab....

so, mami, kak long, i bought u guys a very nice jubah....ayah pon sama...i juz added another white jubah collection for ayah utk dipakai ke masjid, kelas arb and class2 agama yang ayah rajin attend every week....

hafiz, i tot of buying u one as well tapiiiii......u ask for a casual man tops instead....now, im goin to the urban mall to cari one for ya kay adikkk!!

and for my dear man....no idea.....haha....but i still got another week to figure it....mmmmm *think hard*

kay then...im sleepy...tmrow will be another tiring exhausting work for mira....sure does challenging....everytime settle je my daily work...pengsan!

but thinking bout wat will happen if i miss even a tiny particles of ornament to trace....it gives me goosebumps! (>~<)

k guys~ bru jer redo gantt chart and key in leader's diary...im off to sleep!

p/s: i miss my apeng sgt2... :'(

the end

truutt truttless

2011-04-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

ok...holiday dah bermula and i dun fee like bermalas malasan cuty ni...

hati bersemangat giler nak buat mcm2 for the holiday...even dodok kt rumah pon i dun seem to have much 'lazy moment' to handle...but im kinda like it that way...rs mcm productive giler hidop~

hwa hwa hwaa~

terasa dewasa~ and x sabar nak kerjeee!!!! (>0<)O

anyho, plan for the future mira still simpan elok dlm kotak perancang masa depan mira. and with several option of coz...mira nak sangat pegi overseas utk part2....so hari isnin nanti i'll be goin to checkout kt australian ambassy pasal architecture school kt saner maner yg seswai dgn my selectd in-heart typology utk thesis....

*smgat!*

and sambil2 apply utk part2 luar negara, i will be havin backup option utk smbg di uia...apply jugak~ yayy~

yg penting skrg, mira nak sgt end my part2...bru bole explore knowledge through practical life-time training....

(then bru pikir kawin...hehehe)

pastu, pasal heritage plak mira da stat pening pale pasal duit...so, easy come easy go im gonna distribute balik all the money ikot group heritage masing2...den x larat dah nak handle...too much responsibility...urghhhh! beraaattt!!!! (>0<)O

okok...enuf work....cuty ni xder plan nak pegi mana2 pon...its like a week je pon...mom and dad still working...so, im basically trying to balance up my chaotic, unhealthy routine....daging kat badan pon dh membuncit sana sini....) terasa mcm lama benar tinggalkan my sweatin activity~

oh! btw...inallillah buat pah....dier meninggal last week....i kinda knew tiz gonna happen sbb shes been sick ever since her throat start to bloat....I know now shes happy in heaven...thank God, for end up her suffering...but now...jang seems to be a little depress and lonely....mana taknya...satu2nya adik pmpuan dier dah xder....and his only companion...

mommy suh bli lg 2-3 ekor...make him company...but...2 turtles dah mati ni...cmne? observing my way of nursering them, ive been following their advices and steps...x tau da mana silapnya....some part of me rs mcm im not meant to bela turtles....

tapi kalau dah qada n qadar diorg x hidup lama...i cnt see things in tht perspectives...its as if mira melawan takdir gitu...and mira xley selfish jgk....jang needs a compny...i admit, im nt always there for him.....

so...maybe i shud go grab 2-3 turtles later....*sigh*

petting turtles are fucking laen than cats....cats, i aadmit, are hard to hndle...but easier to understand.... *tears*

i miss u, pelik....

(T-T)>

the end

thought of today

2011-04-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

my cousin yg kawin at a very young age is now a father of a newborn princess.

i cant wait for the written test to end despite my laziness to study.

my treasurer job is killin me!!! need a hand pliz!

future plan is starting to contruct in my head.

part 2? keje? oversea? local? money? scholarship? results?

oh wait! cataloging intervention...man!

pah start to have tiz fungus all over her teeny tinny hands and feet walaopon mira tuka air every single day....so, i left the water unchanged with medicated water and the fungus starts to wash away....

tapi pah seems to have another issue with her throat...esok mira might find a vet to check her up...(klau ad) --__-"

cuty pegi singapore kot.

dah lama x shopping baju

vincci kt jj dah bukak...yayyyyYYYYY!!!!!!!!

penah tak rs annoyed dgn org yg suke mengajar2 kiter benda yg kiter dah tahu?

penah tak rs annoyed dgn org yg kiter slalu bukak hati nak ajar dier benda yg dier x tawu but by the time were in her/his shoe, dier underestimate kiter instead and laugh at our unfortunity?

org mcm ni mmg........(isi tmpt kosong)

p/s: panas giler cuaca skrg..... *sweat*

the end

updates........

2011-03-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

lolly jolly~

how ws my pwesentation?

it was so-so...x kena tibai truk and x kena compliment sgt...

so, emotionally, mira was feeling neutral~

after presentation, mira x tawu kenapa truz pengsan dead kat blik for hours and bangon2 je i had tiz crazy headache...and dlm condition yg x brapa sehat tu, i decide to go makan wit my man bcoz mira tersangat la lapar...and bole plak purse hilang...

nak mencarinya satu hal....tpi otak tgh sakit tahap max....so i end up kluar identity-less and wit empty pocket...(sorry wak..kena bayar for me) (>_<)n

haih...but luckily later i found out my purse tersekat kek colah kosi kete...(porrrdahhhh)

and exam gamelan plak....haih....x tawu nak ckp cmne...bole plak tersilap silup sana sini...pastu ader plak soalan theory...(satu hampeh ak x dapek jawab!)

wutever it is, now am happy at home with my family.... even tho mira realized a minute ago i have to get back to uia for ecd assignment plak...

when will this end?

the end

weird?

2011-03-21T11:15:00.000-07:00

mmm...

is it weird klau mira a bit over dlm bab fulfilling people's expectations?

is it abnormal biler mira emo and paranoid even the smallest things people pointed out utterly unsatisfied about my work?

am i being ungrateful for behaving in such?

my explanation wud be....

i acted that way because i want everything i do to be in perfect shape! im a born perfectionist...!!!(highlight! in certain aspects)

so...sumtimes, mira a bit over react biler org nt quite happy with my work (even tiny bit of dissapointment area)...becoz that means 'its not enough'...and that means 'i have to do more'...and that means 'i sux'

i feel shit ass....

let see....hypothetical situation...

u do housework all day and suddenly ur mom came back home and she screams at u 'y are the chairs all dusty??!!!!'

u kno wat i mean?

rs mcm 'dem!!! cmne ak bole x nmpk habuk kat kosi satu tuhhh??? kosi tuuu jeee kowtt!! arghh!!! i suxxxx!!!!'

yess...mira mmg cmni....

so...today, i have learn my lesson.

1. respect other's opinion
2. its for ur own future good...dun take it negatively
3. be open minded and positive about everything...hanging urself with subjective comments arent gonna giv ya success...

mira x suke happy sgt on sumthing unless its totally muktamad...then ill do celebration...early satisfaction will only pushed u further down below....

and i have once put myself part of such behavior and when the muktamad stage came through, I wasnt entertain and its devastating experience....

cnfident sangat....sux....

p/s: kata2 utk diri sndiri

the end

final expression

2011-03-20T23:22:00.000-07:00

finally intenet dah boley online...

and these are copied notes i wrote yesterday:

"ok...im sleepy and tired...

i tot my work was done...but the fact that i missed sumthin reaally important...

and when the mistakes was pin pointed, my inner perfectionism was in dilemma...

i cnt seem to ignore it, thus i decide to re-edit my finalized work...

its quite a job thre but im working really hard to make it in perfect shape...

i dun wanna end my part 1 feeling utterly disspaointed and knowing my capabilities are more than i have currently cherished...

yess..im imagining myself heaving a huge sigh of relief after putting the most effort onto sumthing

i might not get the chance to experience nemore...its very meaningful to me...and that memo was partially what pushes me to aquire such personal success...might not be good at people's perspective but

the least is i myself knw, i have done my very best...any pop and flaws will be fixed for future development....

humans..."

the end.

bebelan di rumah

2011-03-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

salam~

aduh..these few days Tuhan mmg mencabar jiwa ragaku liao....sabar mira sabaaa....and dugaan tu bersilih ganti...x penah stop!

...adik dah nak balik mesir but i havent been spending much time with him...tu la org ckp, biler jaoh rindu biler dekat x endah pon....manusia2...

senanya rindu...serius rindu.....mmmm....salah mira la x penah nak selit those little time n opportunity to see you...im so sorry... :'(

after almost 3 weeks x balik rumah, at times like tiz where usually i wud be locking myself in my bubble and work till dead, im actually pop those bubbles and decide to go back home..mommy dah bising daaa.....

well...i tot it was a bloody bad idea at first, but spiritually, im feeling happier...theyve made my day...masalah dgn Miss K pon da settle...(indirectly we spoke normally)...a lil akward tho but its a progress...

mmm....well...sad news...

ayah ader medical checkup today...its once every 2 years...and.. :'(

yes...ayah sakit....

i hope everythin good wud happen...plz ayah...jga ur health pliz...we all love you~

and i juz found out that that pain ive always felt kt my chest was actually gastric....i knew one day i wud infect with such disease since skipping food has always been part of me...

(--__-)> now...im worrid...

p/s: i harder the stronger ive become....so..come on! im readyyy for yaaaa!!!! (>0<)O

the end

life competition

2011-03-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

mmm...mood agak merudum malam ni...

pms season probably...<---lame ol female excuse for being so irrationally emotional all the time...

(--_-)> *admitting*

mira x ske compare diri dgn org laen in a bad way...cthnya...benda2 yg bole buat mira rasa jatuh....

'ehh...hebat giler dier...klau nak compare dgn aku yg lemah ni....'

serius x suke...

say wutever u wan but i might have that high pride ego tapi mira percaya smua benda dalam dunia ni...klau KAW bole buat....AKU pon boleeyh!!!!

Tuhan cipta manusia ni samer jer....apa yg bezakan kite is effort!

so juz pump up tht extra effort, ure a champion....

tpi kiter x bole deny sum people x payah nak put a lot of efort sgt tpi berjaya smpi ke bulan...org jenis mcm ni mira susah nak respect and i call them fake successor!!!!...fakers ni sebenarnya diuji Tuhan sejaoh maner dier bole handle nikmat 'senang berjaya' yg Tuhan dah kasi...

so kawan2...kiter x payah la nak jeles ke apa dgn org mcm ni...diorg antara yg diuji Tuhan jugak sebenarnya...

satu lg yg mira pantang is biler cnfident lacking...(shj mira x kisah...smua org ad perasaan x yakin tu)...ANDDDDD!!!! effort zero......

korg baek tanam diri sndiri laaaaaaaa!!!! dok bising ckp diri sndiri truk tpi ader x strive to make urself better?

klau xde...shaddap!

*emo*

anyways, my whole point is...mira bengang dgn diri sndiri becoz tonite, i almost got drown with self hatred...becoz of lumrah comparison syaitoooonnnnn tuh!

a message for myself:

u kno urself better...and whats important is, u have put a lot of effort into it...no more~

-the end-

makaaannnn!

2011-03-15T23:46:00.000-07:00

saigo!!!! (>0<)O

ok...xde kena mengena....

mira rs kawan2 mira dah stat makan extra speed than they usually does... (kejar masa for work probably) (._.)/

and sejujur jujurnya!!!! im an extreme slow eater in reality...most of the time i fake it and force myself to speed eat...(and later i wud suffer stomach ache) >.<

becoz!!

mira x ske the fact these people are waiting for me...and i cn see it in their eyes

eyeball A: cpt la sikit minah oii...ak nak balik blik settlekan floor plan

eyeball b: cptttttttt!!!!

eyeball c: apahal la slow sgt makan ni...

me: (T-T)...tak sukeee.......

that is partially the reason y i skip eating...coz then..

1. people wont have to wait for me....
2. i wont have to face tht aching stomach pain aftrwards...
3. and i wont rugi anything for not having a proper personal eating tempo...

hmmmmmm....

second tot!

eating alone is no fun jgk...

i need a company who understands me and let me taste my food passionately without telly me on time and pressure....tht wud be my greatest eat spending moments....

so...awak...u kno me well...tq for those times u let me actually taste my food....

(^=^)> heee~

p/s: do u kno its not appropriate to leave the table while another person is still eating? come on people...thts basic table ethics... (--_-)

-the end-