kotak FIKIRAN

i cant do it....

i wanted to do one productively informative blog for me to just share and develop myself but the fact that i have been budging around with low-qua internet services, i cnt seem to make the idea came true!

i am very disapointed!!!

now, since my inner emotion have been growing death and angerism! i juz dont give a **** anymore!!!! waaaahhhhhH!!!!!!!!!! (>0<)O

and tiz kind of expression seems to take a little effort from the low-qua.

MUTUAL! (-0^)d

anyhow, updates updates~

heritage progress seems to progressing well and to be honest, im loving it! I love the fact when i know what to do daily and acting on live stage like one busy career woman seems to inhale satisfactory....

work work work~!

plus, ive been emotionally wonder how this feelings im feelin might be the last. my part 2 agenda is still floating in air. with no wind to direct their path. And working plan has always been my centre of ignorance, but now, the image of me working seems to be in a bundle of probability.

FREAK OUT!

okok...mira...relax....

(wa...puas hati giler blog mcmni)

anyhow, parents xder. they went to do umrah for 10 days. pejam celik pejam, by this tuesday they're back. so i have to be home to welcome them. woudnt it be sad to be back celebrated by an empty house....apa guna ad anak2...

yes, im juz totally good at justifying...but the question is either my act is running or it just stood there and see myself acting nonsense as a child...a minute ago i juz gave one huge reason not to be able to come home...(again)...i wont deny...i hate myself for tht.... one minute i said i will another i wont....

wtuever.... *refuse to think much*

A CAT JUZ GAVE BIRTH TO 4 CUTE KITTIES!!!! under my bed (home)...my sister had this spiritual belief that God had replaced our beloved 'pelik' with 4 new born kitties....

how do i feel about it?

heartless....

u must be wondering why...

well, ive been facing pet's death for several of time now....and now im basically in fear...fear of getting too close/attach with anythin....even tho deep inside i do have a tiny miny feelings of dearly to those kitties but at da same time, my evil thoughts are whispering things like

'they'll die sooner or later. at tht age, death is possible...'

or even

'they'll leave you one day.....trust me'

and what makes me never agree more to those whispers was the fact that ill be unavailable to be their guardian since id be here in mahalah most of my living time and mommy and dad are stil working...(same goes to kak long)

so...yes....be rational when loving a pet...dont give them all this hopes and dreams of a nice place to stay and a good food to serve while u wont gonna be there for them all the time.....u are offically a jerk when u act that way.....

ur torturing them...

ok...ive talked much~

the end