Saturday, July 30, 2011

life's a climb


Salam people.

The briefing went out quite...how do I say this, mmm...

surprising~

My working hour was dragged to 18 hours per day and there might be some outstation travelling happen. But what makes my heart willing to sacrifice those weighty responsibilities was the cut out due.

From a month working to 2 weeks of human torture. I think 2 weeks is good.

Now, Im no longer looking forward on the money, but more to the experience of hardcore work. I have been dreaming for a day like this. You might not know this, but I have longed for a heavy, torturious work load.

Why?

Because myratayeb percaya, kalau kita nak senang, kenalah bersusah2 dulu. I dont believe in immediate wealth. To me, that's just bullshitto.

Some people (like our parents) might be worried sick having to witness me (their own daughter) being treated like a robot, but the silent candy out of it was physical and emotion preparation strategies.

Lain kali, when I'll be facing hell of work, I might say to the future me

'Alaaaah, I can handle this kind of pressure. Come on, myra. You can do it. 'You've been through worst!'

hehe~ :)

Anyhow,

I've been having my usual drama with mommy. She seems to enjoy putting a huge blame on me for such a minor mistakes. It hurts.

(and it hurts even more when the fact that those tiny mistakes was something occur to her as well but I didnt go bursting anger at her. In fact, I just laugh about it and told her not to do it again *in a friendly way*)

I know some things I did was wrong and most of the time it was unintentional, she doesnt have to be so mean to me as if forgiveness never exist. :'(

Hard teaching dont work for a lovely soul like me....yes. I might look like a rockstar bitch to you, but im actually cherished delicacy better.

hard teaching will only bring me to rebel~

the end

Friday, July 29, 2011

morning breeze at noon

morning.

yeah, i know. its already noon~

what usually wakes me up is the striking sunlight and the heat by 9-10 a.m. temp. I couldnt bare the warmness out of it and its not myratayeb's comfort sleeping atmosphere.

However, today. Had brought me drag dreams till noon because of the rainy weather. (hihihi) Its so cold and comfy to be lying lazy underneath my fluffed pillow and blanket, my brain couldnt seem to figure how to move a muscle of this ideal comfort body.

yipi!

I had to be home alone for 2 days because of my work call. I think for these whole month of Ramadhan (dgn izin Tuhan), if my job were straightaway playing with no pauses/stops for a month they promise, there's gonna be a lot of home alones i'll be practising in the future.

My family is basically in Melaka celebrating a P&C event and Im happy for the one who deserves to be happy (to-secret-to-tell!!) happy happy happy and forgive me, I didnt manage to join in the celebration.

gomen neee~

Now is already 12.04 p.m. and my heart starts pumping upbeat tempo. Briefing session will starts at 2.00 p.m.

'dup dup dap dap dup dap dup dup dap dap!!'

my work brief ws spose to be yesterday at a hotel nearby but it end up cancelled due to the government (their blaming base). I'm just merely following their schedule and displaying in and out of a really good follower.

Buat apa nak berlagak boss, if you dont really know what you're doing kan? So, I dont really compromise how they sort things out at this early bird stage.

Ok, Ive babled much~ thank you for reading top to bottom. Even if you just simply scroll the whole thing, is a worth appreciation from myratayeb, personally.

the end


Thursday, July 28, 2011

evil

Sometimes I forgotten how the world really works.

I forgotten that not all we plan are accordingly.

I forgotten that sometimes, evil just came by our path to say HELLo and I found myself lying dead on the ground, taking my time to recover from the pain till I could use my own energy and strength to stand up and move ahead.

I forgotten you, evil bastards~

p/s: next time, I must always be prepared for later when the evil comes, Im gonna kick u really hard, ur goin back where u r spose to be...HELLo!

the end


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

clearance

I went to UIA to settled my clearance before graduation, and everything was goin out so well, from library to the mahallah, until Ive reach my bottom tops at the finance unit.

I remember 2 semester's back, I wanted to close my finance chapter, therefore, I have already asked them to total up my final closure account and they told me I got RM190.00 left to pay.

Back and forth of time, I paid with RM200.00 cash extra Rm10.00 (sedekah)

Flying off with rainbows, Im clearing my financial statement with the RM130.00 graduation fees and my lidv payment. As I submitted the receipt thing at the financial unit, they suddenly called up my name and told me I had balance and my clearance plan wasnt settle (yet).

I got up to my feet and took the paper from her hands and in my grandparent's ghostly shockingness!!!! I have about RM400! LEFT TO BE PAID!!!! (0_0)!

I was so pissed off, I asked them out how could such things happen. And they could only give me such lame excuses and I was so angry on how they handle the student's money. MY MONEY! urgh~

menyusahkan org bukan~? lucky me I can just drive here in less than 10 minutes~

ok, now im off to finally settle my fee's~

chow! (^0-)n


Sunday, July 24, 2011

facebook

any kind hearted people out there can teach me how to make a group in facebook?

oh, wait. i'll googled then...

*between independecy and willingness to learn from others*

p/s: which one's better?

the end

spoilt me

mommy ayah...

...spoilt me when they're home

i tink i need to rent a house...

INDEPENDENT SUCKO!!!

(>0<)O


Saturday, July 23, 2011

when they're gone

hawdy people,

last night I've been mouth spitting with my dear friend through the phone and later it dings me how i miss having friends around.

Those gossips, stories, fights, loves, humoric, crazy, sad, crying and friendly moments feels far apart.

I'm just not ready to leave education surroundings. Please let me continue my Part 2, God.

p/s: gonna be shipping kain baju for my graduation day~ yipii!

The end

Thursday, July 21, 2011

jaw drop

How was the interview?

It was superb!!! And the boss gave me a lot of jaw drops sacrifices I have to make and I knew if I was being unsure with the task, they would not pick me to involved with the whole project.

I went there pretty early (as u all know before) and when I put a dubious confident step inside the shop lots office, the environment seems pretty...casual. The air was filled with narcotise fragrance and guys were mainly manipulating the whole place.

Surprisingly, my boss was a tough woman and to be honest, I did pee-ed a little watching the way she's bragging on about her project missions and stuff.

NO SMS-ing during work

NO FACEBOOK

AND NO CHATTING

pitz! 0--pee-ed my pants

thats not the only jaw dropping moments, I had to work at 9 until 9! (buka puasa food is provided), might be 7 to 9 or even 7-10!! okok...i can handle long hours work shifts, shot me!

'we might going outstations several times, working days are 7 days per week, no more weekends for you and it might be a month or longer , oh, there, I just burn your raya celebration...hihihi'

(0_o") ok....im freaking out (but excited at da same time)

and your salary....mmm

(putting my 100% attention)

RM80-200.....per...DAY!!!! (omfg!!!)

*bygkan molot dah berbuih2 terlantar kt atas meja interview tu*

I WAN TIZ JOB!!!!! o----bdk ni dah lupa dah all those jaw dropping rules~

the end

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

interview

worst comes to worst.

My job interview was brought to today instead of friday. (suke2 ati je tuka hari interview last minute) (>-<)O And it brought me dancing in my pajama becuase Im totally screwed up with traffic route. I can never remember roads unless I was driving the car....alone....

Because even at the peak of a company at my side would turn me into a tame little baby cat. I would go purring for direction every minute and every second. Huhu...

So, basically, today is my very FIRST job interview and for the FIRST time in my life, I have actually googled the place and print screen the whole thing for future reference. (i dont feel so good)

(-__-") *tbe2 sakit perut*

now its almost 12, and the interview's gonna start at 3.oopm. I dont wanna end up screaming in the car when the time comes, therefore, yes yes yes, im already in iium (my starting point A googled map direction)

I just hope I wont get lost for hours...or should I'd be venturing the road now?

a friend promise to lead the way but even his shadow is no where in sight. Probably gonna be searching it alone. (if ayah finds out, hes gonna kill me)

what? what? oh, yes.

parents disagree with the job, child refuse to accept and just proceed her own mind blasting plan.

THAT's ME! har har har

oh God, wish me luck, lovers!

the end

who's right/wrong?

I never said you were right.

I never said you were wrong.

All I knew, I was sad and in pain when I discovered. And I was clueless to where I should put my shattering heart onto, I turn and placed my hands on this blog.

It's not fair because this is merely a one sided fiesta. The other might not sound as guilty is it was written, probably not at all.

But that was it. That was how I felt and I will not deny my feelings. People are different and it will stay till the very end. If you could not accept me for who I am, what more is it there to cherished?

I am very expressive and Ive done a lot of artsy things to settle down with my emotions. I play music, I dance, I sing, I act on stage and I write.

A little more time later, I would just went through my writings and said 'ahh, so this is how it feels like at that moment'. And I'll be laughing about it for a minute or so.

but somehow, this isnt a laughing matter just yet. Coz when things I thought was calming down, the wave from the South are suddenly approaching, with my usual scene of war.

Me and my words.

Maybe, I think maybe someday. It's best for me to just stop blogging and keep my controversial words to myself. Not a public reading materials I spose. Then, no one will be hurt and I will be able to continue my love in writing aka myra's express medium.

the end

money

money.

I am craving for money.

I want my holidays to be awesome, and i wanna do it and spend it with my own cash. I am done hanging under my parent's nose. It doesnt feel okay about it any longer. Im reaching adulthood and it makes me look like a jerk.

'YOU JERK!' (>0<)O

As my mind kept ignoring the idea of working in firms, a facebook status caught my eyes.

Its a part time job.

This is exactly what I needed for now. It doesnt have anything to do with architecture, just a matter of spending your time and energy with computers and people and walah! You've earn RM80.00 everyday. That is like totally awesome!

My eyes were sparkling with $$ and without further a due, I straight away clicking and double clicking and within a second, my resume was sent. I wasnt hoping much (TIPU), but later, the next morning, I ve received a call from the company and yes, I was called for an interview on friday.

My heart was thumping with flowers and chicken (somethin i love)!! I have never done a part time job in my whole life even get to lick my own fudging money!!!! TAK PERNAH! So, I was really hoping this plan will go on smoothly.

I think the job due was perfect because its gonna start from 1st August until 14th August and on the 15th, my brother will be back Malaysia. And by tht time, I can spend my money like shitting!!! (if i ever gt da job...oh god..plzzzzzzz)

Im collecting money for my hairdo treatment as well as my secret trip to Japan. Im gonna need at least rm2400.00....paling2 pon, if mommy and ayah are planning to give me tht trip as my graduation gift, I would only ask them to pay 1/3 from the exact amount...kui3~

Now, what I need is a good direction to the place (for the interview) and a goofy personality...eh..eh...i mean..GOOD..personality~

p/s: cross me fingers, wish me luck!

the end

Monday, July 18, 2011

im sorry

Ive watched this vid from youtube about how evil people can be through internet. And it makes me realize my own mistakes...

I know I hadnt been good, maybe through my facebook, formspring, my twitter especially in this blog...Ive never thought of how it would affect others who read my blog, emotionally...

Its pure selfishness, I know. Its just that, I take this blog as my so-called personal expression medium. What I stated here, obviously had something to do with people around me. And probably, one of those people happen to review my post everyday (who knos?)

and it might hav hurt them in any ways (my words can be pretty harsh)

and im sorry~

m(_ _)m

i hope that if u r totally involved, plz take my word as my current irrational angry state. Because, usually, when Im done writing, the feeling soothes away...and i'd be flowery fine.

i dont want to be the mean internet human... Im just a person who likes to write and blog bout how i feel. It really makes me happier doin so~

the end

Sunday, July 17, 2011

future planning

I had been storing the financial report for weeks untouched and it doesnt make me feel okay bout leaving it to dust.

Sometimes, Id get lazy handling the money, I chose to ignore. But, oh well, how long can i bare ignoring the responsibilities. I just cant wait to end the whole thing so that'll manage to dance my holidays.

And the fact that I have to drive back to uia and discuss the issue with the lecturer had just piled up my time and work. Just wanna get it done ASAP.

So, basically now im waiting for a friend to stop by my house. And later we both moved our asses to uia to settle the whole darn english recommendation letter from the office coz it might save me from spending another rm600 for eilts tests. (crazy)

and yesterday I just sign up for jobstreet resume. I was hoping to get a job by september. Id made up my mind to get settling up with all those future options and applications for 2 months due and afterwards I'll be looking forward for job interviews.

Number one, deep in heart, Im dieing to fly overseas. It's not about getting the chance to brag bout it, but its just that I wanna explore and experience studying overboard. Even ayah suggested me to let me open such door as he did went to UK back then and it was a worth experiencing.

number two, if I get da chance to comtinue my part 2 in UIA, it hit my target to get my part 2 done ASAP.

number three is gonna be job search. Which im not truly ready for it but anyhow, these 2 months holiday will be my preparation charge.

I know a lot of them have filled their time with work, but that doesnt jeopardy my decision to take these 2 months rest fully.

Oh God, im nervous with my own future. Whatever You have decided for me to encounter, im sure its the best for myra~ im just shivering with thoughts right now. I can see myself studying aboard, working and even continue doing my part 2 in UIA....

the question is, which is my future reality?

the end

Saturday, July 16, 2011

bf's bf

another weekend is just another day! (perhaps)

Saturday morning went pretty smooth and there were no signs of hectism. (i like).

I have always had an aversion for panics. I can say 8 out of 10 of my mind bursting temper was due to panictism. It's suffocatingly annoying and it makes me go through hell!

That is why some people they are able to produce geniuses work when they're in panic mode but I dont. And do not go pointing fingers at my face saying how ruthlessly SKEMA i was doing my scheme work so early because last minute work will only bring me towards angry+blankness.

(i believe that we do know ourselves better than others and dont get jeopardy by other people's way of achiving coz it might not be wise for you and your WS 'weak &strenght' to follow)

ANYHOW!!!! (Id get drifted by thought very easily, so just slap me when Im starting to bable stuffies)

I finally met my bestfriend's boyfriend today. IF IM NIT MISTAKEN, they have been together for almost 3 years and had a long distance relationships ever since their early bird loves. The distance was my reason for had not yet met this guy who dated my forever friend...

The whole thing was casual and he seems very nice. (because my friend happen to be doing the talking the whole time, his personality seems to get strucked everytime he tries to bloom)

har har har~

anyho, I hope they'll stick till the end~

amin~

and now Im just plain lazy~

the end

Friday, July 15, 2011

expectations

you know human.

We cant lie to ourselves not having expectations. Even, i mean, ESPECIALLY towards our love ones. Its not the fact that you cant accept each other's weaknesses. Its just that sometimes, you are hoping for something better.

It might be one simple action or even a simple treat but it can truly make your day~

p/s: I'm confused

the end

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

marriage.

I went through my usual morning routine, spending up my early session with facebook as such. And I saw a picture of a friend (we were once pretty damn close in highschool, people call us twins!)

and shes married!

my jaw drop 5 feet to the ground and i had to pull it back on the table coz it went boneless of shocknesizm!!!

omg. bestnya.

and her hubby happen to be older and seems purely mature to me and they just had a wonderful honeymoon in PARIS! (>0<)O

p/s: *myra berangan*

the end

oh mommy!

have you ever had this kind of goosebumps,

when you acted in a way somehow reminds you of someone very very close to you

'omg. A minute ago, I sounded exactly like MOMMY.'

p/s: without realizing my maturity transforming, I am slowly becoming very much like her... *smiling*

1995

teacher: mira, can you tell me who's your idol?

tiny miwa: my mommy! coz to me, shes perfect!

:')

the end

Monday, July 11, 2011

speak up

solution is what i needed the most...

because ive been swallowing problems in the past, and to me, its a slow motion death. You might be okay about it in a minute, but what you dun realize, it's actually growing silent in your heart...

its not good...

not good!

the end

the Maharani is back

aisey.

It has only been a day.

And Im already shed tears of gruesomeness!

I think i can see the whole picture of myratayeb rite now.

She's a girl who likes to do wutever she wants and in her own bloody way (its a good/bad thing kinda way). By telly her off won't do any good unless your method is close to an angel's breath, then it'd be okay~

I happen to have had my sprinkling day. Wake up at 9, humming the whole day while doin my usual happy productive solo chores. And when I got that one buzz from the Maharani, bossing me around and tellin me wat to do in her own Maharani way, Id get pissed!!!!

and angry!!!!

*sigh*

bila pikir balik. I cudnt run from it anymore. If i keep on running, when the time I had the chance to go far, I might nt come back for I had not overcome my weaknesses. For I have not yet see the best solution of it. For I have lose my guts to such a teeny tiny problem, and end up destroying my own blood.

myra xnk mcm tu. nanti myra lg sedih. (T-T)>

And im gettin sicked of people telly me off (again). to be patient and to just bear with the Maharani.... (tht is so basic, everyone knows tht! and even if i did imply, it doesnt help me to bits. What dyu tink Ive been doin all these while except for being patient and letting the hot jelly spilled on my face [no screaming])

So, how?

(pikirpikirpikirpikirpikir)

from now on, if the Maharani ever telly me off again, and things between me and Maharani happen to get spikes, I will go, 'wowowoowowowowoowwwww!!!! org tuuuu dahhhh maraaaahhhh!!!! okokokokokkkk...will doooo wutever u wannn meee to doooo!!! so longggg!!! gudbyeeeeee!!! luv you!!! peaceee to the worlddd!!! ASSALAMUALAIKUM!!!!

*trut trut trutttt* -hang up-

-avoiding phone fight-

'HAR HAR HAR HARRR' <---gelak sndiri (no more crying)

p/s: shut up, temper! y did ya get all over my head all the tyme???

the end

last kiss cover

video

slow sad song....

not my genre but somehow it caught me singing it over and over~

love em~

b(^-^)d

the end

Sunday, July 10, 2011

my sunday

I was forcefully woken at early sunday morning sbb atuk dah buat announcement kat smua

announcement!
'ANAK2 CUCU2!!! DURIAN DAH JATUH!!! MEH BALIK MEHHH!!!!'
\(^0^)/

p/s: u cn never ignore 'the announcement'



the end

Saturday, July 9, 2011

about templates and enemy

I know.

The due between my previous template and this is extremely close!

I dunno why, the previous one seems to hav been a little eye aching to me and somehow makes me wanna scream out of anger with those striking red colored background!

ARGhhhHHH!!! SaaKitt MaaTAa AKUuuwwW!

so.

bile dah jadi cmni. perasaan nak membaca tu pon deteriorating...

(i wonder wats gotten into me while I was doin my personal selection)

so, yes. I have changed it into more 'eye friendly' colors..*lololz*

anyways, I went through my settings and stuff just to polished wat was needed to be and i found out...that I have....

.

.

.

an ENEMY...

ive been receiving all these hateful comments from an anonymous figure.

he told me to shut my brain with this unworthy dilemma but I cudnt stop myself from wondering...

what have i done so bloody wrong reaching at a point where a person dares to press the button, allowing such hateful words addressing it to...ME.

i mean, tipu la if i told u i havent loath anyone in my life but the fact of making myself unknown to my enemy and act like a winner in a debate competition isnt something I call as a war...

pffFf!

*blank*

-the unworthy dilemma has been deleted-

-emptying recycle bin-

-the end-

Friday, July 8, 2011

kotak HERITAGE

my man

friends


with lecturer


and my beloved surabaya sunan ampel group



best.heritage.ever

kotak CUTI

doodge~

i have finally close my chapter in uia residents and are currently resting my body n soul at home....

will this be a forever separation?

i am stil in the haze of curiosity, with my future.

where will it lead me to? I was hoping all three of my options to 50-50-50 <---as if this term even existed?

now, some are workin, others stayed home.

i'll stay....

but not to add more of those lazy fats, but I have a lot to work things out for my future. I cant both sit around n do nuthin or fit my schedule with work since the process will take a lot of time spending...

(yes, i have thought bout tiz a lot!!!!)

worst to worst, home is still a heavy working base for me. Mom and dad are busy working everyday, the house seems to have figured how 'lack of love' they have been going through....since the depart of my last maid and me.... (-__-")

however, i dun wanna whine coz i do love doin housework....its part of me....the whiner button juz happen to occur when the demands are high.

That makes me totally frustrated. Its like, people ORDER u to do things at the beginning u were happy doin it but it turns out to be a huge responsibility....x best~

anyways, my OCD is getting worst these days...i tink its due to the stress. It not a major stress riot, its more to an inner depression...eh..wait...im nt depress...im....worried...yesssss...thts the word...

Mira is worrid sick...

wait a min...i tink ive babbled much~!

toodles~

Monday, July 4, 2011

grad

im graduating.....

can u believe it!!!

wat the hell!!!! *sore avril lavign*

the end