ok, (brp kali nak ckp ok) after a few days back trying so hard to blog, i finally managed to find da perfect time to. Its quite nerve wrecking to actually write somethin from ur heart within the public radius. I cant help but imagining others eavesdropping my personal writings...argh! its a total self distraction!! ((>0<))
anyho, mah very first tyme working on mah pc at the studio went out so well and i love every minute of it! <---early buds syndrome~ curse me. i get excited very easily~
ive worked my butt out for site analysis presentation on monday later despite ignoring my other individual responsibilities, yes. i have one more thing to settle. The urban trail and the brief concept presentation~ ugh~ why...oh...w..
dewa keje: MIRA KEJEE!!!!!!
p/s: hurm..tomorrow's gonna be a better day for me~
i juz came back from my pahang trip and to be honest...it was FUN!!!!!! altho i had a really bad health condition back there. But i manage to swallow the pain and cherished the moment. It might be a once in a lifetime experience...who knos? and i dun wanna miss it wit mah lame feverish naggin syndrome...wasted~
I wanna giv a huge appreciation to BOO and SKEM. they help me out a lot with mah unhealthiness during the trip. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
the hotel was ok even tho thres a bunch of cockroach dancing in the toilet. (forget it!) I hereby giv another big appreciation to kak JIJI yg mmg hero penangkap lipas kiter... if it wasnt for her, i might be sleeping outside the lobby...huhuhu~
and the family angkat programme was a whole new exp for me. I really love my mommy angkat, she cook for us bubur kacang durian and tell us a bunch of stories and sangat SANGAT friendly...hmm..im missing her already~ :'(
and and MANDI SUNGAI! wahh! sgt sgt seronokkk!!!! Just awaits for the pictures uploaded in fb then. I dun ave mah camera wit me threfore, i juz intrude myself in other people's lenses. HAAH~ let the picture speaks for itself.
uuu, it might end up a 10 pages of words if i keep draggin bout mah experience thre but basically people, it was a worth moments in mah life~ and for sure im gonna treasure it forever~
omg! im so lazy to pack! packing makes mah head spinnin! nak bawak apew nii??!
argh~ pack esok jer a...bangon kol 5 pastu settle everythin...hah!
now im havin this minor flu...plz pretty plz jgn demam plak kat pahang later~
(>-<) *cross mah finger*
anyways, mira sempat usha a couple minutes of moving image on discovery and theres one special day in China called Romantic Day where the parents of each single daughters/son wud b busy promoting them...Its like a love match carnivals...
mcm pasar malam dow. the parents mcm explaining their daughter sons character and physical appearance sampil pegang a picture of em and even checkin out their compatibility mismatch Chinese year...(eg: tahun ular tak compatible with tahun bunny: prediction> wont be a happy marriage)
wooo~
how crazy they cn be, making sure their children to get married...mommy jgn cmtu e? hehehe~
i havent been writing for days...my wireless networking seems a lil slowmow recently...anyho, here i am, trying to express myself after couple of days off from bloggin. I juz had a ruff week. Friends in need, compelling news strucks me emotionally. Thinkin how cud those people possibly do tht? Why they are even capable of doin it to a person? How cn they let themselves get control by their own satanic emotion?
Humans are extremely mysteriously creepy sometimes. I might even possibly believe that i cud be one of those people, for a flip of my personal history book, i have done some extreme bad things to a person when i was young. Too young to even think about consequences and to even slightly care for other people.
I used to think tht none of those people around me care for me. For tht, y shud i? People breaks my heart all the time. Making me feel like an ass. Making me feel tht all my sacrifices seems...worthless. However, i discovered throughout my years of learning bout life, I cn never expect people to reach my expectations needs. They're no psychic. They cnt read my mind and fill me wit what i wat them to fill me in.
I juz have to bare with certain weaknesses as well as the others bear with mine. equal trades, simple. Forgive me with da low self esteem story, im jz born and raise with inequality. And my silent mode juz makin things worst. 'its ok, mira. Tomorrow's gonna be a better day for you', crying in my sleep, pretending to hav a nice warm shower while the fact i ws hopin the million droplets of water cud possibly washes away my sorrows and pain.
Feeling sad and angry is juz apart of being human. You must be freakin dead if ur so dem happy all da time. Trust me. No human can resist those negative feelings. It happen sumtimes, at least.
I was truly happy and honored for being choosen to lead such grand dinner last night, i truly do. But i dont know why, watchin others so happy makin themselves up to one point of beauty satisfaction. It makes me think a lot because i was kinda by myself deep inside the whole nite. I wasnt openin myself much to others.
Im sorry. Some of u might think i was angry bout sumthin, but honestly, i was prefectly fine and okay. Im juz excidently draggin myself into my own world at the wrong place and time. Thts all~ forgive me for not quite into the camerawhore crowd whre i used to get involve n get crazy... The dinner was superb and i seems a little shy with the huge crowd. huhu *blush* curse me, im nt quite good at huge crowd thingy...juz not my thing...YET~
some people are so lucky to have a whole bunch of friends where they cud travel anywhere they want and do a whole lot of fun activities together...
i can never travel on my own even with my friends along. Even sometimes, when a friend tend to invite me for a minor trip vacation...i wud get so pissed off coz i knew my parents will never let me go...
being a girl especially...limits me with everything i really wanted to do.
so, for those who arent stucked in my miserable boat, do appreciate every bits and moment of ur life. coz not everyone manage to attain such opportunity.
i might look like an uptown gurl, but i dont totally act like those typical town girl youre psychological brain are mended bout our species. To be honest, even some of u guys from luar bandar even aggresively free to do anything much more than i am capable to do... curse you guys i am so jealous...
POSITIVE!!
i am save from external bad influences and i dont go hUUhaAAhEE much~
thts a good thing isnt it? hihihii XD
and if i am dying to do such activities, i cn always do it with mah family~ tht wud be much MUCH better!!!
it was so-so. early semester journey usually filled with new introductions and registration pips and pops...
my classes schedule was much much much lighter than before. Now i cn live in the life of being a senior which i usually get so envy with little number of class they have...
YESSss!
(naah~ jgn seyonok sgt...the subjects r a lot tougher than before as well)
ug~ tell me bout it.. (=_=)
anyways, tmrow my mommy is goin to be in UIA!! yay! shell be joinin Azman Hashim opening ceremony tmrow at 12...cant wait to see her!
AND! on the next day aftr tmrow, i might be joinin a makeup session by ilham's very own aunty with the other 10 gurls~
waa~ i like i likee~ XD
(i juz hope i wont be lookin like a gayguy)
bout my new mahalah room plak, the room da cantik and well furnished with new furniture!! sukesukesuke!!!
but...the tilam was a bit kerass! however, i cn totally tolerate becoz its still new but the bed...argh the bed is a little pendek than before...kinda miss the old one...solid high rise katil~ huuu~ xper la...asal ada...syukur2... (syukur sket mira!!)
and since my room is nomore lvl4, i am now transfered to ground floor and the hygene was a little bit of dissapointment!
plus, i donno where to gantung my spendox and bra and YES, basically now i sidai my cute undies kat tingkap while my window is actually facing the main routeway...smua nampka ye~
wuhuuu~ freeshowww bebehh!!! (wat r u lookin at?!)
the bmw dude called me around 4 pm n YA TUHAN SYUKUR MASYALLAH!!!! *melutut sambil pandang langit* n(>0<)n...
the damage only cost me RM150.00...
phew...
cukup2 ad dlm bank ku...wahaha!
bayar, peace, SETTLE~
hihi XD
p/s: my parents still x twu anythin bout tis and diorg barely perasan the minor kemek kat the car....huuUU~
anyways~!!
holidays almost end, and i gotta say tht i am extremely happy and satisfied with my holiday...holidy is not juz about hanging out with friends, its bout being there with ur family...
and i have spend a whole lot of my holiday time with them~ (^-^)/ yipee~~
and i cnt wat to go back and be in a study pace again~ rehat too long is not good as well, i wanna fel like a student again! i wanna sit in mah ol mahala, chatting with mah uia buddy and attend classes like normal student wud do~
huhuhu~ XD
p/s: i tink mah mom dah start to trust me in doin things on my own~ yipee~ there must be a good way to earn ur parent's trust kan? well, they juz needed some time to let go of their youngest daughter ere~ :p
i ws totally cautious and healthy today despite feelin a little frustrted with my stuff at home which is in need for wise organizing. sepah sgt!!
But my mom stopped me later and ask to fetchup and send another new laundry phase aftr sending my brother to da putra station... (u kno how i hate people stopping me from doin sumthin important)
anyways, geez, no crime for elping out a family. (pahala mira pahala)
my brother's outta da car, final gudbye handwave and i drove very calmy and slowly to the laundry store. Its juz a few blocks away frm my house and it was weekdays mornin. Not many car was around.
On my way there, i accidently turn right which is actually a one way (opposite) route but i thought it migt be okay because it was only a parking area. When i reach the T-junction at the end of the route, there was a car on my left but im pretty sure i manage to drive through coz it was 15 meters away wit an average speed.
when i turn right...out of nowhere this huge black BMW car appear in sight and i ws a little panic and for God sake tyme tu bole plak lupe maner brek...
(and yes, i tekan minyak instead)
"BANG!'
i hit the car...
(>~<)>
it was a big size malay dude reaching his 30th, bold headed, he was the owner of tht huge car but his chinese driver was drivin it. From my less than a second observation, he seems very particualr bout money and his top to toe acesories and outfit seems pretty expensive.
loaded~
and hes very angry...very angry...especialy he was just bout to leave the workshop, (his car bru jer fix wit new rim and stuff)<---interest in upgrading cars...
at tht moment, i realize tht...i am totally dead...kill me...kill me...
it was totally my fault,
1. I didnt check my right road before speeding to my right, instead i was only focusing on the 15 metres away car on my left...
2. I went through an opposite one way route
3. I mispress the engine instead of the car breks.
4. Im young, innocent, less experience, totally broke, cant afford a bmw...
*sigh*
tht dude told me the rim cost him almost one thousand and the car if tak hilang scratches, i gotta pay the whole side body in replace...
*gulp*
and i gave him my phone number and ic...i tink he even write down my home address...
*gulp*
tht moment, i ws so embarass. the place was decorated with a bunch of peoples around the shop lots corner. and everyone was boo-ing me and some people were screamin...
'HA! bayaaa bayaaa!!!'
i feel like cryin but i knew tht i hav to stand up for myself...i admit it was my fault and yes i will pay at any cost because i wsnt blaming anyone else. it was my fault. this thing cn be settle peacefully. He said he'll call me aftr he'd check on his car at his 'personal' workshop'...
*gulp*
p/s: to b honest, i havent told anyone juz yet bout tis. my family shud know bout tis. But im being mira, mira. Mira is very hard to tell her problems... and i dont like it when my parents starts to blaming everythin on me...
the problem is:
How long cn i hide from my parents? obviously my car ws affected as well...and i kno i might not be able to afford to fix his car...
ha! ni satu lagi! wat dyu feel when people labeled u as other animals! of coz lah tak suke kan! and of coz u wan to own ur OWN identity!! then, y do u still do it???!
and im gonna make it grrreeeaaatttterrr by doin my own personal activitiesss!!!
yeah~
p/s: i might sound like a person who come from the past but wutever it is, i juz discovered 'The Big Bang Theory' series and its fishing FUNNY dow!!! hahahaha!!! XD (the best part so far is the 'soft kitty'~)
yess....currently, the series daah reach season 3...yes yesss...i knooo wat ur tinkin...laugh at mah face...laugh now...im totally ketinggalan zaman...
okokok! the picture of the day~ is.....'drum plz' *ddrdrdrrdrdrdrrd* TADAAaa!!!!! the cats in the sink!!!!! walah~
i knew i was tied up by my bad relationship histories and i knew becoz of tht as well, i couldnt open up my heart nemore...
i wsnt gonna blame anyone...
it was me
my one and only heart...
i wasnt strong enough...
and what happen last night had really opens up my old racked story...
that has been suffering within me long ago, even aftr i had face new love in my life, it was still there, waiting to be healed...
thts why, my love didnt work out so well,
it was tht old racked bruises and pain...
but i thanks to you
you had waken me up from my darkest dreams and suffers...i knew i shudnt have hang u on the rope of my weaken heart. it wasnt ur fault. u were never the fault. being confused is not sumthing u can predict. things might have move too fast for ya...im sorry for dragging u so hard... im sory...
and now, i shud no longer blame u for ur mistakes, and mistakes are just apart of human and i just gotta move on~
and be happy~
p/s: to be honest, i really miss you coz ur a good friend to me~ (^-^)> finally i can look at you without feelin pain and sadness nemore~ for i knew, u never had the intention to hurt me, and i knew, i shudnt have tied you for ur humanly mistakes.
(You bet me for writing a real Bahasa Melayu for my next post~ so, here goes...)
malam ini, hati laraku membelai belai kesunyian arus dorakan bunyi rentetan hujan sayup sayup kedengaran di luar jendela kamarku...
iya...hati bingitku membentak bentak memohon ketenangan sejagat akibat daripada kekalahan yang merunsingkan jiwa antara Kumpulan Brazil dan Belanda.
Sungguh tidak ku sangka, keputusan terakhir sebegitu yang akan ku ratapi di kaca televisyen sederhana besar yang terpampang jelas di dataran ruang tamuku.
Geram. geram sungguh. Tapi apakan daya. Aku hanya mampu mengeluarkan kata-kata amarah seolah olah didengari oleh pemain Brazil yang seperti sudah kabur arah tujuan mereka dibawa arus tekanan dan harapan orang ramai. mereka kelihatan sudah hilang tumpuan terhadap permainannya kali ini.
Sudahlah. apakan daya, segala kejadian itu pasti ada hikmah disebaliknya. dan hikmah yang mereka aksasikan kali ini adalah supaya mereka lebih bersedia menghadapi pemain seperti Belanda di masa akan datang. Insyallah~!
Walaupun malam ini bermelodikan renyaian hujan dingin. Cukup enak dodoiannya, rangsangan deras ke alam mimpi. Namun, apa yang terjadi, telah membiuskan deriaku. Mataku tidak lagi berat dihimpap syaitan. Penat lelah tubuhku terkujur meratap penulisan yang seolah olah tiada titik noktah penamatnya...
titik noktah bergantikan pantun dua rangkap. pantun melayu yang telah lama ku lupakan, kini kembali menghiasi taman minda muda ini. Sekian~
kekecewaan itu hanya sementara, kejayaan pasti akan dikecapi jua.
Selamat malam sahabat handaiku, amacam? hebat tak ak tulis dlm Bahasa Melayu?
well its really good when u read and for me, i love reading!! (^0^)v
i'll get to learn new bombastic vocabz, widen my self imaginations and my understanding bout the whole aspects of life!!!
and it even develop my spelling capabilities and are prone to good at writing as well.
im not saying tht im totally good at writing but i have always hope to be a good writer.
why?
well...its becoz of me...
I have problems expressing myself especially in terms of being defensive especially a face to face communication. I realized that sometimes, im lack in details sections like my tone, volume, intonation and expression.
People alwys misinterpret the real message im delivering. and its heartaching to see people gettin hurt from my blurry words which they took it badly...
therefore, when i started to write... i realize tht what ive wrote was the exact message i wanted to deliver. and im happy when i write!! (^0^)/ yayyy!!!
ANYWAYS!!! (jaohnya ak bebel)
im reading this book titled
'The Book of tomorrow' written by Cecelia Ahern.
its a very light type of story where you can juz sit, relax and enjoy Tamara Goodwin's life after the death of her father.... My dad shooked his head several times watching me laughing by myself journeying through the book...HAHA~ sorry ayah, im juz facing an exxagerative imagination and if ur really into the story, its freakin KELAKAR owkey~~!!!
tomorrow im gonna go attend the archidex event and hope to bump into familiar faces yaw~!!
p/s: im sorry. yes the guitar is urs...its not mine. it was ur birthday present. i ws merely juz borrowin it from u... i hope u dun mind sharing it wit me...huhuhu! XD
phew~ ok...lepak sat...
