the final

Im starting out fresh.

I have to say goodbye to this blog.

Because it doesnt feel me anymore.

It doesnt turn out the way I wan it to be.

Im gonna kept all those memorious posts silently here.

While I moved on to another chapter of my life whilst with a new blog add.

Goodbye~

this blog has been a baby momentum to me.

Thank you for giving me the chance to write~

the end

end.

fitness

Ive been working out daily to get those fit and healthy body these past few days.

Gosh, its not easy at first!

But, discipline is pretty important when you have the target to fulfilled. If not, you'd just end up like those people who cracking up dreams 27 hours but none was ever to accomplish.

Just pray hard Im not one of em. *pray* because

Im pretty am serious with what Im currently ve doing!

gambatte ne, mira chan!!!! (>0<)/

the end

change

I had a bummer.

I do not like my current life right now. And when I think back how Ive been living the past month after working, It's absolutely NOT the life Ive been dreaming of.

I needed a change.

I needed to do something extraordinary every week.

every day. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

the end

perfect

Anyho,

Ill be wearing braces on december. (yay!)

My first appointment was actually last weekend but the price was too crazy, I had my second survey in a proper dental clinic around de palma hotel and the price was way reasonable.

So my 2nd round of first appointment will be on 2nd december.

Im so happy!

Ive been planning to wear those since I was in highschool but my parents wont allow.

They actually dare me to have those when I get a job and have my own money then I can pay all those bills.

and guess wat!!

Im actually paying all those dental appointments using my own money, my own kick and sweats! It took me almost 5 years for my dream to fix this crazy teeth and patient does pays candy.

cant wait!

I know some may have their negative point of views about having braces on per say, changing what has been created by God. But I believe, everyone was created in a perfect form. What changes the beauty was we individual ourselves.

My teeth got jumble back and forth because when I was a kid, during those time when your tooth plucks off like pop corns, I refuse to see the dentist and ends up, my new baby tooth's growth went abnormal.

I create my flaws. I wasnt careful.

So im fixing it, not as perfect as God's beauty creation, I know

but giving me that chance to feel good and confident with myself (of course with a little sacrifices)

Most importantly, what Ive learnt from experience.

Never to point fingers at someone elses flaws. You never know how much it hurt them. deep inside...

deep inside, if they were given a chance to feel beautiful...

the end

not inspired

I am not inspired to write.

Because I havent been reading much.

I have lost my words and poetical expression.

And its not good.

Probably I should start reading while on trains or buses.

Probably I should start reading during other half and hour lunch break and sacrifice those gossips sessions.

NAH!

Im extremely particular with my surroundings. To me, certain surroundings click in with certain activities. Thats just how things work with me.

For example, I get really sick if I do text sight on moving base like vehicles as stuff.

Thats the reason why I dont do any form of mind interpretation in public trans or even in my own car. Its just wingling off my brain and directly fuel my throat with clear vomit fluid.

Instead of inducing new verbs and terms or even so, experiencing the work of a famous novelis, I actually receive nothing more than just a BAD HEADACHE.

so not worth it.

Plus, people who knew me, myra working hour is all about work. I dont do cheap conversation persay gossip as such (during that time ONLY). That's why my breaking hour is my special time to socialize.

For me, socializing in my current phase of living are totally vital. I did mention on my previous post how weekends in my family dont do holidays. We always crack with family events and stuff. Weekdays are out of the list of considerations because my ayah dont admire night outs.

So, Im actually pretty lonely now. And I miss my friends a lot! If I happen to meet one of them during weekends, no word can describe how priceless those time spending was.

To be honest, Im quite chatty at my office but pfft! my jokes are subsequently clashed by generations differ. Being the youngest do have their pros n cons. When I act my usual crazy mira, they all go...

(0_o) 'err, are you ok?'

I WANT TO LIVE WITH MY FRIENDS!!!! (T0T)O

*sigh*

the end

fatty

I feel so fat.

Raya Haji was superbly amazing fat.

I dont really do visiting like Aidilfitri celebration. Its more to eating fat.

Many aunties were around and they all are one of those crazy cook fat.

3 days of doing nothing much but eat fat!

FAT! fat! FAT!

the end

be happy

Something came up and I wasnt feeling so good.

But hiding feelings are not a stranger to me. Im so good at that. Most of the time, people wont even notice I was actually shedding blood tears.

And it has always been wise for me to distract myself with work. And lucky me, work are coming in like rain.

Personally, I think its not healthy for emo individuals like me to let those unhappy thoughts playing in your head like a disease. In fact, its gonna affect the whole YOU as a person and slowly, negativity will start to linger.

by the end of the day, you are nothing less than a miserable human being.

not good.

So, yes. I slit a paper onto the chapter where I was crying my pants off and reopen a new book for a new exciting adventure.

'Ill deal with you later..'

hihi...

So, for now, everyone in my office are starting to open up with me. And seriously, I never expect US to click so well. They drew a smile on my face everyday.

So, ive never got bored.

I cant believe Im saying this but, Im actually looking forward with my daily work everyday~ a new gossip, stories, jokes, work and experience probably?

(especially the fact im being the youngest one...Soooo SPECIAL)

:)

the end

too too

When you think you have done too much...

more than the usual...

you just need to take a step back, and ask urself.

Should you slow down a little...

Or should you not?

Coz if its hurting you now, probably you should just pause for a while and do something extraordinary in your life.

A distraction.

the end

Seoul, Korea

Since pre-retired, ayah has been cope up with a bunch of future time waste plans. Oh wait. Thats just too negative. I'll rephrases that...

Since pre-retired, ayah has been cope up with a bunch of future TIME WISE SPENDING.

and of course, (I assume), you have been working for more than a half of your life, would you not want to just chill back and HO HO HOLIDAY?!

yes. Thats exactly what he did.

Few days back, my parent happen to or I would say, had random plan for a vacation and since Im very new in working and obviously still under probation period, I am not taking the risk to ask for an unpaid leave (for a family vacay?)

So, they flew 6 hours and a half leaving me home alone for a few days to....SEOUL KOREA!!!!!!

(Jealous plz)

Well, they just got back yesterday and theres one photo of mommy and ayah was EXTREMELY ADORABLE!!!!!

but ayah warned me not to post it on facebook...or other online posted webbies...

but...they're just so kawaii!...

here goes...

I hope this will be considered as...half-posted...nt really uploaded but its there but not there...

p/s: forgive me ayah~

architecture talk

Maturely grown.

I love my job.

3 weeks has passed. Another 1 week to reach a month employed. I learn so much and I have no regret what so ever leaving my previous job in Pandan.

Im surrounded by professional teachers. Top excellent architects handling hundreds of A. Mix project. How could I not be grateful for my current stand?

Im gonna work my ass off at this company and putting daily huge amount of effort to preserve my stats because I knew being in my position now, is not something I would call as 'common opportunity'.

My Part 2 plan will be put to rest. Im gonna settle down with my job and gain as much per experience (and money) I can swallow and Im looking forward to local edu base for my Part 2.

Fundamentally, I dont have much money to spare those 2 years both tutorial fees, hostels and cost of living overseas unless I am able to grab aweosme scholarship plus personal bank account spree to accommodate my own studies.

My ayah just got retired and I cant force mommy to pay for my master while she had to pay for Hafiz's education in Egypt. Enough sacking her with my needs. 22 years old is OLD enough to be walking solo and embrace the reality of life/money.

Right?

So hereby I announce.

I totally wanna rock architecture~

the end

'_____'

Salam people.

My thoughts are dying.

the end

salmon sashimi

I spend RM5 for my lunch and RM5 for my transportation...EVERYDAY~

and today I was a little gloomy and one thing that can turn my table around was no other than...

SALMON SASHIMI~

it cost me RM15 for one dish...

equals to...

my 3 days lunch

my 3 days transportation fee

p/s: i wanna be rich so that i cn eat salmon sashimi everyday~ :'(

the end

reasons

nak emo kejap.

kejap je...

mmm...

benci bila org banyak kasi alasan bodo. Alasan x munasabah. Cuba dengar diri sndiri skrg. Sumpa nonsense giler.

Setakat main intonasi, body language, communication wise nak 10/10 tapi isi mcm tin kosong pn x guna jgk kan?

benci bila org jadikan benda lain sebagai penghalang dorg nak buat sumthing sedangkan its so obvious, xde benda pn yg menghalang sebenarnya kecuali diri sndiri.

diri sendiri yang tak cukup gigih nak capaikan impian tu.

klau hati dan molot kata laen, perbuatan laen.

tak tawu mana satu nak percaya...

p/s: a mixture of personal and general-ism...

the end.

english sux

Good evening.

My sister read my blog.

I was thrilled at first but the feelings went pouring down the lake. Oh wait. I mean 'the feelings change'. because she said my english word was spock spicking here and there.

Oh wait. I mean, 'My english vocabulary was badly practised', it kills her to see her own blood severing the beauty of ENGLISH TERMS!

:p blek!

p/s: in MY BLOG, i dont go by rules. I write in any terms Id like to express. If you dont get the word, then buzzzzzzzzzz~~~~~ *wink2*

the end

Saturday morning

Salam people.

Its saturday morning and Im swimming in the sea of room misery because things was a bit cope up lately. So, I tend to just throw everything here and there without considering the later consequences which I am facing right now and its driving me mad.

Yes.

It does.

Well, finally everythings clear up a little and I can finally feel the air flowing inside the room. I mean fresh air. My turtles have been evoking pee smells all the time. My parents dare to enter me smelly room. Even the Ambi pur doesnt work with the toxicated smell.

So I went googgled the solution behind this and the only manual cheap way to reduce the smell was to feed my turtles in a separate jar. So, da living jar will only be their place to stay and play.

'Ahhh, so the smell comes from the food and poops.'

YUP!

*accidently saw the bundle laundriate to do*

urgh~ got to go...

the end

time travel

Salam people.

Today is my first day spending with ayah. My ayah's finally retired and poor him, he had a lot of adapting to do.

We did our own time travel survey from home to my new job place today and concluded it took about half and hour to reach there but the major concern was the KTM lagging arrivals.

We waited almost 30 minutes for one session train to arrived and that sux!

Im excited and extremely nervous at the same time. And my mind and physics should be ready to pump up with good performance by now.

GOOD LUCK MYRA!! (>0<)O

-the end-

graduation tale

Salam people.

Everyone are cramping facebooks photos, taggings with graduation pictures.

Well, to be honest.

Mine was still kept lazy in mom's digital camera downstairs, waiting to be uploaded. The cam ve been giving signals at me everytime I walk by it but i pretend to ignore. I was not enough enthusiast to do so.

My graduation day was suppose to be the big super awesome day of my life had turn to a railway cracks. It might be funny later but for now, I was super unhappy.

Leman took his last breath right after my graduation dinner and I sat beside him that night crying my pants off. From the beginning his cute little paws turn white till his body frooze, empty.

The so-called big day tomorrow was meaningless to me. My cute baby leman's gone. I told him to stay alive until i got my scroll in hand. I told him everyday to be strong and see his mommy getting her degree~ T-T

The day.

My whole family gave Leman a proper grave ceremony because we all loved him very much and he brings many happiness to our life.

And the traffic was scary, I arrived at the hall right before the lines start moving. Did not even manage to tip my foot in the event hall, I got stopped by a committee and was told that I GOT THE WRONG ROBE!

They gave me diploma's robe which for god sake how should I know. Later, they prisoned me inside the fitting rooms looking for my robe size and I end up hearing echo's of the opening ceremony, negaraku and iium song from where I stand.

Alone.

Waiting for the right robe to come.

They couldnt find my size and end up giving me one size smaller and the robe was severely broken. I lost count of the pins they attach on me to get it look almost perfect. I was down enough to even care.

I just want everything to end a.s.a.p.

So much for a graduation...

*sigh*

p/s: by the end of the day, mommy ayah and kak long had really made my day. They were the only one who gave me strength to find the courage to outlook a smile on my face. They sprinkled me with their own happy imaginative scenes. Appreciate enough my family was there to support. I love them~

sacrifice for better future

Salam people.

Its been days since I last blogged. I had a hard time coping with my new routine. You know.

Working.

I dashed off to the office at early stake and end up home around 8.30 p.m. due to the bundle works. (I do not complain. I have always enjoyed working countless hours. no pressure)

But my usual online-psyc has been tied on a rope due to exhaustion. So, with no mere intention, I have neglected this blog for quite some time.

Well, back to my story.

Yes. I quit my job.

Its not because it sux. To be true, my boss, my collegue and my new environment was super awesome there. We somehow click well even at the de-vast period of time spending. Those little time feels longer than how the real times tick.

It was extremely hard for my part to say goodbye. I already build a good bond with my boss but at the end of the story, I got to let go to pursue my future dreams.

I agree much that sacrifices has to be made to stand in a better pathways, to drive in a better route, to float in a better boat and to fly in a better plane.

My new environment, sounded a little difficult to go through. Most of it feels a little stranger to me but I should open up my heart and mind in pursuing professional platform. dont I?

And I think this kind of opportunity don't always come knocking on your doors. Its just plain crazy if I'd say 'No' even at the edge of loving my current job. This is my key for better future.

Im sacrificing. They all had been really supportive of me quitting. They think I deserve to be in a better foundation basis. Thank you all for the taughts and care~

Every single one of you stars will be twinkling in my heart forever~

-the end-

dinner

Salam people.

I hate dinners.

But I miss my friends.

the end

let me cry...

Ya Allah, mengapa wanita sering menangis?

Jawabnya:

Kerana wanita itu unik

Aku ciptakannya sebagai makhluk istimewa,

AKu kuatkan bahunya untuk menjaga anak-anaknya,

AKu lembutkan hatinya untuk memberi rasa aman,

AKu kuatkan rahimnya untuk menyimpan benih manusia

,

AKu teguhkan peribadinya untuk terus berjuang pada saat yang lain menyerah

,
AKu berikannya naluri untuk mencintai anak-anak dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun,

AKu kuatkan batinnya untuk tetap menyayangi walau dikhianati oleh teman,

Walau disakiti oleh “orang” yang dia sayangi..

Wanita makhluk kuat,

Tetapi jika satu saat dia menangis itu kerana AKu berikannya air mata untuk membasuh luka

batin dan memberi kekuatan baru.

my story: time adaptations

Salam people.

Im exhausted as usual after work and i think today was the worst exhaustion coz I'd got stucked in traffic for an hour only from pandan to my house. And its the same miles as from uia to my house that usually goes around 15 minutes journey.

And I was suppose to stay late at the office to settle my crazy house design but after pray for betterness, Thank Godness, office server suddenly went down right before 6.

So im off home pretty early today and I thought I could be home before 7 and have a quick date with my hafiz but nope.

The traffic was too crazy to fulfil my sincerric request.

*sigh*

Anyways, Ive been observing my batch page in facebook and its annoying! I apologies but honestly, its freaking irritates my eyes with all those stats about people going different future paths; top nor bottom.

I knew it was controversial at first but you know things like this will end up okay later. I call it time adaptations.

I think its pretty normal for people to feel a little uneasy because we have been together for 4 years and suddenly A is on the left, B is on the right, C is top of the mountain, D is swimming underneath the sea.

The fact that you have to freaking write it out on facebook, allowing this people who are in their progress to adapt to somehow regain back those uneasiness and having multiple thoughts about the so-call small matters, just not a thing I would call as a solution.

I know what ur thinking. so, uve heard the rumors?

You know when things are turning ups n downs in your group and it got leak into someone else's ears and it went pouring like crazy and the story might went hyperbolically different from the true matter...

honestly. it makes me sad.

But who really cares right?

And I hate it when other people start asking what was going on because when I try to simplify the story, it end up differently.

The version I felt was in pain but the version im telling people 'who care' was neutral because I wasnt feeling the pain anymore.

I moved on. like i said before, time adaptations.

So, Mrs History, you dont have to come to me and start to reopen the old chapter of life coz I dont really care anymore.

Im happy with my life now and Im actually extremely happy for her.

The happiness doesnt present so well because I knew it from the channel of dark surprises.

but nahhh, already tear off the page and dug it in with the other i so-called rubbish memories.

well, thats my story. the other's are not the same.

the end

sushi freak

Salam people.

Yesterday was robe day!

OMG! Im actually graduating soon! I cant believe it. Time passed so quickly, i barely feel it coming through me. And (slap my face once), am I a working women now?

HAHA! Im so happy!

My sister told me the lines gonna be gruesome tomorrow, so i woke up very early to settle everything by noon and everything went according to plan except for the part me, Ina and Ham decide to cut the lines and we all got screwed.

ADVENTURE!

After I got the robe, we went to a nearby mall and had our FAVOURITE SUSHI!

Happiest guys~ thank you~ (^-^)/

(sushi dah ader new menu for bento set btw, sushi lovers should have a visit and try it out!)

THE END

i love animals. do you?

Salam people.

Lets screw people who hates animal and even someone who pretends to love animals or pretends to hate them.

SCREW THEM!

SCREW YOU!

ok la.

the least you can do if you hate em, just dont get involved. The fact that you are hitting them like a piece of log is making me fuel with anger, within seconds, I can just run to you and give you a huge punch on the face you jackass!!!!

(lucky you mom and ayah is around)

you and your animal abusive face, making me angry.

Im so angry im basically punching my teddy right now...

urggghhh!!!!!

the end

between money and love

Salam people.

Yes.

Im currently working.

yayyy~~

And my firm was a little laid back type. No pressure. And my boss seems pretty nice even though during lunch, Ive eavesdropped among them saying bad stuff bout him but I dont do early judge.

That is so not myra!

As long as he'd be nice with me, I have no right to let my mouth slip bad words about him. The fact that he's kindly choose me to work with him is mine truly greatfulness!

First day working, I realized how long have I put down my architecture knowledge! My eyes are basically crippled with tears from trying to understand every inch of the drawings!

tender drawings, construction drawings, coding, commands, contract terms, architecture terms!

dem! I AM SO MISSING THIS!

Thank you God for not letting the knowledge dried so quickly. I believed there's still 45% of them left, moisturing in my brain.

Anyho, so far I am happy with my work. I dont mind staying in the office till midnight but ayah insist me balik on time. (urgh~)

You know, when you love what ur doing, money isnt the whole point of you putting those effort. Its about being able to spend ur time doing what u love and gaining all those knowledge seems so worthy!

(rather than spending so much $$ studying and you end up forgetting all those theory edu after done sitting exams)

-the end-

jobs and interviews

Salam people.

What a Saturday.

When I woke up in the morning, I was basically lying lazy staring at the crocked ceiling. Getting high with wonderlands thoughts.

Suddenly, mommy came up with a cheering idea of shipping me some office wear clothing for my interviews. (well, mom. You did fantastic!!!)

Yes. For those who didnt know. Lately, my outnumbered job application emails has finally responded.

Alhamdulillah. Im so grateful dear Lord Thank You!!!

When I think about it. I was being an ass exxagerator and my patient level seems to have reach zero.

Why?

I couldnt even stand for a month to wait for those firms to respond and what I did was I went all depressed and sick and hating the whole world (despite my parents being a little pushy and created a sort-of panictism vibe around me)

And when I think through, everything was actually went according to MY plan.

Let see...

I apply for my Part 2 in both UIA and Australia and yes.

UIA was doomed, I focus on my Australia application pulak.

While doing those things I decided to take a rest from any sight smell form of architecture basis, I went looking for a part time job. (SUCCESS!)

after the part time adventure, I decided to take the time to settle my Australia application. (SUCCESS!)

After raya, I was hoping to get a job while waiting for the long time result of my furthered study plan. So, I non-stop applying for work for almost a month. (SUCCESS!)

*And now that Im employed I just have to continue working like a normal employee until both my scholarship and Australia application result are release~ (SUCCESS!)

*not yet confirm (another blablabla interviews to go!!) WISH ME LUCK BITCHAHS!! (>0<)/

*kiss my brand new interview attire for good luck charm* 'make me go through~' <---syirik

Future plan...

And if I didnt get to flap my wings to Australia, I could just continue working for a year or so rubbering those experience and knowledge...(gezz, dude. no crime getting those practical training plus self money maker...a double duo benefit!)

'Life is complicated, when you choose to make one'

the end

everything will change

Salam people.

Just came back from kaedfest...

NAH!!!

Well2. that was actually my original plan coz Ive been involved with kaedfest every year. But the online promotion was a little lacky and I couldnt figured what was ongoing fest there.

So. I went there to check it out with a friend. But it took me less than an hour to observe the whole carnival coz I basically exchanging top news and updates with her.

Things have changed. People change. The whole IIUM change. The smell, the heat, the crowd, etc etc.

It feels so different!!!

And I miss the old times. The usual times. The myratayeb time.

Why does the time dick so fast?!

waidaminit! did i said dick? haha~

i mean tick..ehem2~

teettttttt!!!!

the end

little brother story

Salam people.

Ive decided to take my current livehood stats dilemma a rest through writings for it is an ongoing issues for the time being. So, I dont wanna bored some (is there?) very loyal readers out there with my same ol problemento~

This morning I woke up pretty early. Even the birds still pumping their heated ass in their little tree nest for the cold weather is an obvious sign of deactivation.

I was reluctantly influenced by the sleepish weather as well. I couldnt pushed myself to stand whilst the semi thick blanket of mine are forcefully cuddling my cold shivered body.

My mind was too bored to think or even move a single twitch of brainy impulse because last weekend was extremely packed and today I just wanna lay in my bed~

'truttutu trutututt...dont feel like picking up the phone...'

SHUIISH!!!

*sigh*

ok...

2 days back I had a little fight with my brother. Its a very rare situation because me and my brother, we basically never fights. Fighting was our last season of growing phases like when we were so little and immature. Now, basically. Everything we did we take it as funny and humorous.

Nothing seriously taken and that's how everything works well in our brother-sister hood relationship.

But that particular day was a different story for us.

and what makes me a little sad was. We kinda screwed the bond.

And for us to laugh and make fun on something like we usually does, currently, feels a little off/akward.

and isnt it sad?

:'(

-the end-

fengshui.

Salam people.

Ive deleted my previous post because it somehow gave me this extremely negative vibes.

And i feel more and more miserable every single time I read through it.

(Yes. I basically read my own blog)

*you think thats weird?!!*

screw u...(hihi)

So, here goes myratayeb creating a very positive feng shui around her own blog with feng shuish news and updates!!

1. LEMAN is getting better and better EVERYDAY! wiiiii!!

2. I am so free and happy now for weekends are OVER!!! (i did tell you guys my weekend was never leisurious!)

3. Yesterday I went to neshy's house and get to meetup with old KAED buddies! Rindu giler dorg~ My used to be usual crowd!

4. Me and Apeng are happier everyday!

5. Immah healthy women!

6. next week are KEADFEST! woowwiii!! KAED FEST...KOWT!! WAAA!

7. ...

8. ...

(Suddenly mira started realized theres not much for her to celebrate...)

(--__--)

-the end-

super addicted!

Salam people.

Im currently crazy with Nicki Minaj: Super Bass.

Cant stop humming the song!!!

SukesukeSukeee!!

\(>0<)/

'booom borommbom boom borombomm bass got that super bass'

the end

stupid i am

Salam people.

Today I was eager to promote my freshly graduate stats official job exhibit in mid valley together with my well prepared copies of my CV~ (10 copies if im not mistaken)

With lightning speed, I stood front entrance fueling with hopes and succession.

(setelah tawaf 3-4 kali keliling job fair tu)

not even a single tear of booth fair anyho related to architecture base!!!!

OMG! I feel so stupid!

My sister did warn me to checkout the booth list before going there but I was so excited and decide to just observe my way thre and who knows, theres a bunch of awesome stuff i might missed if I just judge the whole event thru online webbies~

amek kaw~

padan muka~

(-__-")

the end

kitty sick kitty

Salam people.

Leman is sick.

And myratayeb determine nak make him better.

So Ive started nursing him since last Saturday tapi terpaksa postpone becuase I GOT SICK plak.

My sister keep saying she doesnt know how to feed him the pills.

So yes. Taking care of sick cats are extremely penat...but i really want him to get healthy~

It is so sad to see somecat who used to be very hyper active had turn to a lumber jack.

Leman so cute. Everytime I force him to swallow the pills he'd cried out loud and get very aagry. Then myratayeb had to pamper him with his favourite baby pat on the back about 5 minutes to calm him down.

Then later when I left him on his own, x sampai seminit, I caught him dead asleep.

'Penat menangis ye syg?'

:*

lets all pray for leman to get back to his usual paws!

-the end-

Plan B: I am taking my chances

Im done filling up my 3 overseas universities forms for my Master in Architecture.

And now, I just have to submit it on Monday at idp, KL.

And just pray.

p/s: 'life is all about taking chances, no matter whether you succeed or fail, what you'll be cherishing is the effort you have put into it'

the end

a good life, healthy living

Salam people.

It was myratayeb's usual stomach aching phase on the 10th September 2011.

(so i thought it was)

Suddenly, the pain went so wild and painful. My human bare have reach my limit. My eyes start to get teary from holding the excruciating pain and my hands and feet had turn numbed.

Mommy found me rolling on my bed, wet with sick sweat and she and ayah rushed me to the clinic. I had to cut the lines for my aching was an emergency pain. The clinic doctor wasnt so sure what was happening. So, she suggested me to go further checkup at the hospital.

Later on, I was caught having...

...food poisoning and was admitted to the hospital.

Ive been having stomach aching since forever, all and all, my mom suggested me to just go through medical process to check my whole tummy.

4 days of my absence, I am A-OKAY. My tummy is negative from ulcer and any dangerous bacteria. Thank God nothing serious was rolling in. hehe

BEFORE the incident, I was piled with future thought, works and planning.

WHILE it happen. My mind was at pause mode.

NOW, I am ready to go with a positive mind and personality!!

Things happen for a reason and probably, the reason behind all these was God wanted me to took some time to think clearly without stressing myself and see the whole picture of life.

Whatever it is, I shouldnt neglect my health for a good life comes from a healthy good body.

:)

-the end-

another sick kitty on the road

Salam people.

My new 8 months old kitty: Leman is currently sick.

I wonder, why most of the cats I owned end up having a severe sickness?

Have I done anything wrong?

Mommy gave him good food everyday. I bath him twice a month but I had to stop showering him after he had his first baby flu.

(Dont any of u guys ever mandikan ur cats while they were havin their flu. Not Good!)

I dont locked him up because he's naturally a wild cat. And I think its an animal torture to do so. So I let him out free 24 hours. However, most of the time, he would just sleep outside the porch or on the leather sofa in the house.

*sigh*

Despite all those effort. He's still sick.

Leman might came from a very weak genetic breed. Sebab previously pon, most of his siblings and mommy aunty semua die at early age because of flu and cough. (mcm pelik dulu)

Leman is getting worst day by day. So, im not gonna hope too much. So just prepare myself for the worst. :'(

Lets just pray for him to get healthy~

*amin~

-the end-

i pray

Salam people.

Tonight I wonder. While I was busying myself trying to find the right path for my future. Did others had to face the exact same thing I am basically licking (all those emails, resume, papers, application forms, fees) right now? Or probably there are worst cases than mine.

Whatever.

I dont usually look at the worst. They're not a good self motivater.

Nah..not because Im being ignorant or even ungrateful with what I have. I am totally grateful for the good Lord had bless me but I know I am able to do better. And isnt better is more likely awesomeness than just being in the average crowd?

If you chose to breed in that bubble, I assume you are no risk taker. You're too comfortable being in that comfort zone, you wont realized, that your journey is actually no where.

You're a dead living.

A zombie.

Is that what you want?

Are you born for that?

Well. Some people are.

Whatever.

As long as you're happy.

*ngarut

My point is about being fair. I think the rate of achieving top equality is 0%.

its IMPOSSIBLE!

waidaminit...did you just gave me that look!

look all around you people!!! Some people have to bloody work their asses off but still fail to succeed while others are being so successful, they barely lift a finger to achieve all those effortless blessings!!!!

Its major human social cruelty!

When I turn my mind to God, I realized I was saying bullsyit babble. The Quran already stated yang Allah tu Maha Adil and He knows what He's doing and who am I to judge His perfect plan and creations?

Those people might be 'ON' in terms of educational/future succession tapi bahagian lain dalam hidup which is equally important jugak but we couldnt see it because we are too cursed with the current worldly matters right now.

they might be 'OFF' kat that part. We never know.

Mcm ni la. Just believe that God has His power to give you a successful life as long as you don't give up on trying and keep putting those huge amount of effort you usually does with the decoration of do'a.

Pray.pray.pray and insyallah, God will in return grant your deep wishes.

Life isnt easy. But it is for those who follow the true guidance of the Quran.

the end

road suckers

Salam people.

I totally hate myself today.

Why?

Some people who knew me, know how I sux at road.

Its not that I'm not a good driver, its just that I get lost pretty easily.

Countless times have I face solo breakdown in the car because I was too clueless at where I was at that moment and I have been driving for so long and its driving me mad!

I used to punch myself, n repeatedly saying, 'stopid mira, stopid mira, stopid mira, stopid mira~' when it happened.

Someday, I will conquer the world and explore!

SOMEDAY, my brains = GOOGLE EARTH!!!

someday...

*sigh*

the end

friendship babble

Salam people.

Close friends

Is a massive word for me.

Some people might take it as a pouring rain.

But I don't.

Ramai dah yang berkata, 'myra, kaw nampak sombong giler awal2 kenal dulu'.

Why?

Because I dont befriends with any person I met. I choose whoever meets my eyes and brains. Screw them if they wanna say ugly stuff about me.

Because when they do, I knew they're the ones who know nothing of me. And I dont give a rug.

Eh. dont get me wrong. Its not like your first present to me directly is a total invisibility. You say hi, I'd say hi. It would be rude if I didn't. And 99.9% of myratayeb are usually very friendly later...(if you're cool enough)

'nahh...jokin~' (trying to be funny) (--__--")

I do admit, I have a bunch of awesome friends! Love em.

But close friends are very hard to find. And to be honest, my close friends in heart are merely 10 fingers countable (or may be less). (0_o)

Because as I pursue my life in the semi reality, I realized, these bunch of awesome friends sometimes will only be there for you at awesome moments and the highest reason for them to be hanging with you was with a benefit/advantage for themselves.

I was born feeling happy opening my hands, offering any forms of help to a friend (or strangers sumtimes). It sort of give you that bright feelings when you do.

:)

But the world are extremely cruel. They've change me.

Some friends I know, they literally hanging on me when they needed a hand, and when they don't or maybe they had found better option for them to hang their dependent stake, they would just toss you away, with no goodbye's.

And at worst, when you needed them, they just blew you off as if you meant nothing to them.

*sigh*

When I looked at a person, I don't see all those money, bags & shoes collection, your f huge car or your pretty face.

What I saw was your glittering heart, actions and the way you think and all these has always been my major point of attraction. (& only then, those stated above would eventually grow in my mind..hehe~)

'i love your hair'

'you f rich!!!'

'thats a lot of shoe there, girl friend~'

hehehe~

*another sigh*

Secretly, my regret was not having a bunch of awesome friends, doing everything together and having fun travelling/exploring the world.

But then again...

...when I think about it over and over again.

myratayeb didn't actually missed that much...

Coz these close friends she preserved in heart, are much more worth cherished~

(at least I know when I fall, you'd be there for me)

\(^-^)/ wii~

the end :)

give = take

Salam people.

Im writing this because Im trying to make me understands.

God. Make me understand.

How could you expect others to entertain your interest but when the world turns the opposite way, you just dont give a sh*t?

the end

room disorder

Salam people.

my room's a mess. no kiddin.

I have sorted out my closet and still theres a bunch of stuff to handle.

You know, If i were given a chance to decide. I would like to throw away every single thing in my room until its peachy clear. Then, I would slowly rearrange everything in good order.

Theres just too much stuff!!! >< and i cant take it anymore!!

First of all, I would die to toss away ayah's old P&C documents piling up underneath my bed. He's retiring this year so I would love to offer him a free burn-the-paper service if he lets me to.

Second, I would die to throw away my old study table set which seems to have just waiting for its moment to stumble and kill me while im blogging. And the colorful kiddy design which I used to adore when I was a kid now, is a total eye aching. SO UNCOOL!

Third, is my high school decorative box collection which during tht time, I thought I was the most awesome kid in town. Knowing her way to store her stuff aka ikea like. But somehow, the girlish boxes doesnt impress me no more. (BUANG!)

Fourth, is my picture frame hanging silently on my room wall. my immature face trying to look like a model disgust me. ewww... I even put stickers on top of it to somehow make it look hilarious at certain ways but....anyways! (BUANG!)

Fifth, is my old penguin dustbin yang bila pijak kaki dier, the cover 'supose to' open. Now, even how hard I step on its little tiny foot, the penguin doesnt seem to respond. So, everytime nak buang smpah, kena angkt the top sndiri...

Sixth, is my disastrous walls and ceilings!! Dulu my house ader water tank leakage problem and dah affect my room (only!) and theres one portion of my wall and ceiling dah paint-damaged.

So yes, im dying to repaint my whole room and this time I want to pick the color, mommy!!

(>-<)o

Seventh, is my penyangkut baju yang somehow doesnt act like one anymore. Every time I try to hang my clothes, within seconds, everything fell down. *annoyed*

please pretty please mommy ayah. LET ME REDESIGN MY ROOM INTERIOR!!!

or else, I will rent a house to settle my bachelor phase.

hihihihi <---kejam gila

the end

let raya speaks...

return from raya

Salam people.

I have gone for a week and has finally came back home safely. Friday's traffic was still secure from jams. It was wise of ayah not to decide to be back on weekends. I presume it will be hectic!

I manage to snap average number of raya pictures. Nevertheless, I am satisfy with the outcome. My new Galaxy phone seems to have had its aesthetic beauty of capturing photo even though Im not quite sure of its camera details megapixels as such.

Both raya and ramadhan had taught me a lot of cool lessons to be practised and learn. Insyallah, those knowledge will continue to shine in heart even at the state of devils loitering everywhere. hihi~ (mcm skrg ni la...OMG! i can feel them!!! they're asking me to continue blogging smpi terlepas waktu maghrib!)

gtg!!!

p/s: raya pictures will be uploaded sooner or later~ ;)

'Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dearest myratayeb blog followeres~ Maaf zahir dan batin...'

the end

Part 2: expectations

Salam people.

I wanted to talk about expectations.

Expectation is a feeling. I might say it can closely define as such: sad, angry, happy, etc.

Expectation is a dual expression.

One. towards yourself.

Two. towards others.

For instant,

One) I expect myself to score very well for the past semester because I have worked extremely hard!

Two) I expect you to give me a dem good result for I have work very hard for the past semester!

When both are fail to reach the expectation, there goes disappointment.

'I am very dissapointed with myself for not scoring'

'She dissapoints me for not giving me good grades'

you see?

Expectations are part of our social circle. They're everywhere. Any humans cant deny the fact that they owned this expectations.

Expectations lived in our soul. Sleep in our body and always there, playing with our minds and hearts.

The question is, are they good? or an evil reflection to our mind?

as myratayeb punya prinsip hidup,

'SEMUA BENDA DALAM DUNIA NI ADA BAIK BURUK!!!!'

(termasuk yg bernafas spt manusia)

so, the good thing about having expectations are:

- it somehow motivates me to reach a certain target or in other word, expectations!

...

and the bad thing about it:

- its a curse to relationships: friends, family, staff, boss, etc

'I EXPECT YOU TO WORK LIKE ROBOT BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU GAVE ME?!!!'

'I EXPECT YOU TO BE A GOOD FRIEND, BUT YOU'RE NOT~'

'I EXPECT MY DAUGHTER TO SIT AT HOME AND BE WITH HER FAMILY!'

so, yes. expectations give birth to war. However, it depends on how you take other people's expectations.

positive way: is to just stay calm and think about it. Is it true you're not being a good person by doing so? is it bad for not being what he/she expected? what will the world be like if you toptop their expectation? will it make the world a better place?

yes!

then try to change. Other words, develop urself as a human.

no!

then just folow ur heart. Theres a moral of a certain fairy tale which I cant remember tells us not to satisfy everyone's needs (or expectations!), you gotta used that brain of urs yg Tuhan dah ciptakan sempurna to decide what is right or wrong.

YOU CANT SATISFY EVERYONE!

negative way: is not to give a tiny damn about it and just dance your own floor.

WRONG!

kita ni hidup bermasyarakat. When we acted this way, we are actually being IGNORANT!

...Tuhan tak suka manusia yang IGNORANT!

so dont be!

yang memegang role expectation tu plak, try to understand. People are different. Dont expect too much on people as if they have the same mind as urs.

NO!

and even if you did expect the right thing, time is precious for them to try to build a good character based on yours n other expectations.

So, no pressure. Coz im sure you have experience not being able to fulfill certain someone's expectation as well and how does that make you feel?

'please be more considerate and not to think of ur own shoe je!!'

kannnnnnn~~~~~~

the end

at times like this...

Forgive me if this post makes you vomit blood or even get eye-aching reading through the texts.

I just miss my boyfriend so much.

At times like this, having him as a distraction was at best solution for me. He always love to change my book chapter coz he's no good at rewriting it. But it works for me.

He and his floating mind will leave me silence, which feels like forever and out of a sudden, he came out with the most funny solution which to me was the worst but...he's adorable.

*sigh*

be back soon taw syg. I really miss you~ :'(((

I really do.

the end

second chance

Salam people.

I have been quite demotivate with my future lately. Slowly, one by one of my future steps got rip off leaving very few little steps, further pushing me down from reaching to the top.

I built 3 special doors, now 2 of them seems to be tightly locked. And Im still searching for the keys. I still want to believe theres hope. I still do.

Im not totally given up. But currently, Im feeling a little less enthusiastic with everything.

I cant force a smile when my heart is sinking. *sigh*

however, myratayeb is now slowly gaining spirits. Slowly move her baby steps upwards. Feeling a little nausea with the whole rejection but I still manage to hold on.

Today, I went out to search for a perfect raya shoe but none of the design successfully met my interest...my mind was a too trembling with future-phobia. The collection seems dull and funny.

Mom asked, or maybe ordered would be more ideal, me to stop by uia and appeal but I was to disappointed, Im just not ready to beg for a second chance. Hell, I just knew I wasn't the chosen one and im not even in their original list. What does that make me feel?

You might say

'Myra! skip the whole depression or else your losing everything!!???'

is it?

the end

quality or quantity?

Salam people.

I'll be spending on clothes today. So yes, IM EXCITED!

Im a big spender on clothes. Honestly.

However, I have stopped spending after I was place in a university bubble. Why?

Because, I think during that particular phase of life, money was more vital towards food and entertainment. There were no extras out of it. (damn you teenagers!)

So myratayeb started to really jarang beli baju but once I went shipping, the quality ones has always caught my eyes. I dont mind spending a lot of money on clothes for I prefer it to be comfortable and made of good materials.

I dont get it with some people who love buying 'beli satu percuma lima tshirt'.

You see, they might sounded good in quantity but the quality was so-so. After you wore a couple of times, it turn out to be rough or seasoned.

Can you see the difference?

You can actually buy one awesome t's that will last forever!!!! (exaggerating) equals to you buying those cheap, huge number or tshirt over and over again...

Gotta be wise people~

Dont you judge on me people.

I have my poor moments as well. Thats why my shopping spirits only comes once in a blue moon. It looks crazy when the spree was on roll but when it stops, Im just an ordinary human with several repetition attire. So, dont give me that spoilt rich looks, Im no rich. Im totally moderate. Trust me.

Ill be off break fasting with several CBN-ers today in midvalley. Bump on any of familiar faces there hopefully~

XOXO

the end

death is around you

Salam people.

My family never make weekends as a resting checkpoint of the week. If you want me to be honest, weekends was my total exhaustion days. Im basically grew in a family who prefer to do things rather than 'sit back and relax' and let the time sway like it aint value a thing.

So, I would say its totally a good thing. Quran even stated that, 'Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu di dalam kerugian~'

time peeps, time~

Whatever it is, I still manage to sleep the whole evening today after travel to Melaka-BBBangi-KL. (I just hate long hours vehicle travel) *it never fail to make me feel totally sick and fatigue

Anyhow, went to Melaka and the whole family was there to celebrate Ramadhan with my dearest atuk. He looks pretty cheerful seeing all his beloved children and grandchild was there to cherish this holistic month with him.

Then, went to BBBangi to meetup with my Uncle who just came back from Canada after a month work trip. He'll be going there again next month until December. I was so jealous but at his perceptive of his own lucky life, he rather lived in Malaysia for the weather was to cold for him to bear.

Tomorrow ill be goin to klcc to ship some new clothes session of myratayeb. I just bought a set of facial treatment cost me 200++ (i cnsider it to be reasonable for it can last for more than a year)

lol!

and i need a pair of new jeans and pants. my jeans are losing my waist. (not because im torning down!). The material got season and loose. A friend told me, 'its a sign of death...my jeans are dying~'

Everything in the world, have an ending knot. Human die. Things we created broken. Nothing actually last forever. Even the world someday will come to an end....

Actually...

I just experiencing a family in her before death phase. And it freaks me out. After she had her kidney surgery, the doctor said there was no hope. Her internal organ was hanging. None was well function. But a minute after she woke up from her surgery sleep, she went bizarre.

She screams and said nonsense things like,

'mana keranda ak?!'

'ak belum nak matiii!!! Aku tak bole pergii!?'

'KAW BLAHHH! SAPER KAWWW??' (saying to her child)

it was scary.

(keeping myratayeb's opinion about the whole scene to herself)

the end

shopoholic is a cure

Salam people.

These past few days of 'menganggur', I have been spending my money in a state of self satisfaction. Honestly, the paid was good but personally, its not worth to be kept for future use.

Why?

Because I think the money are nothing more or less, dirty. I have been talking candy about my part time job but inside, the people was actually a major human disappointment.

They took innocent people's money to gain their own wealth and sometimes, the charges was illogical, watching the victim state of poorness, this is pure evil.

I was only their slaves of cruelty. Nothing I could do about it. All i know was to push my butt on this job sincerely and not to forget my core attention was to filled my holiday.

So, oh well~ Im currently spending the $ with all my heart and I have never felt happier. Got to spend your own money, on your own will, getting the stuff YOU want to do.

priceless!

Some of you might not know this, but Im a crazy hair-doers! I love to play games with my hair coz it satisfies me....A LOT! And I just spend close to 30 percent of my salary for it!

and a minutes ago...

i juz bought a new phone!!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!

okok...I know some of my followers were thinking, 'bukan ke mira baru je beli phone ke?'

Well, to be honest. I hate the phone except for the HD video. The rest was average. And you must be wondering, what phone did I just bought with MY own pocket money....

\(^0^)/ YADA YADA YADA!!!

the end

finally home

Salam people.

Yes. I am finally home. Another week job was shorten to today and this afternoon was my final hotel/work checkout.

All of my group kinda expected the ending work due to the unusually rare PATI visitors to had had come registered their thumb prints daily.

Reaching 20 registration form was close to impossible.

Breathing flowers of living, my new friends and environment had taught me a lot about the principle of working together. (hectic work i should mention) and the fact that being with them for 18 hours a day in 2 weeks was enough to make us recognize each other's nose.

I am currently sitting at home, blogging and akwardly starting up my used to be usual phase of housework seems a little off by the rewinding moments working with them in MSN.

The farewell was a blast and sad. I'm gonna miss them a lot!!! a big friendship Myra had dream of has finally come true. :)

Now, i got to distract myself with big spending!!!!!!!!! $$$ Plus, my brother's home, I dont have to be home alone any more...erm...i mean, for the next 30 days until he gets back to Egypt.

p/s: the memories remain in heart forever...

'mommy ayah rindu sgt dekat kak ngah...'

:')

the end

i miss you

Salam people.

In a blink or two, 2 weeks work has passed. The work was extend for another week and then I'll be able to dance home with full bottle of satisfactions. (and $)

Yesterday, she handed me a piece of wonder paper. Catching it flipping through the fans, the writings had caught me speechless. As I read through it, I was basically light headed.

My very first pay check.

I know some of you out there think I was being exxagerate, but I have never work in my life. Getting paid for ruthless works feels reality! No more full time work in studio and having to face damage working attitutes for nothing, getting paid feels worth sacrificed.

Today I was actually sent by the head captain to work somewhere in Petaling Jaya.

But the people there in Petaling wasnt really well prepared for our work space. Lucky me my friend here called Syeina apparently living near the area.

So, here I am, being again lucky. I manage to steal her internet connections to embrace my blogging passions.

*but it felt a little akward watching the whole family reunite and did house chores and cleaning while im silently blogging at the corner, refuse to involved

mmm....

p/s: i might be denying this, but I think Im starting to missed my home and my family. Ramadhan without them feel so...different. (and im getting bored with bazaar foods and fast food restaurant)

'my dear boyfriend too had already left me flown to the other coast of Malaysia for weeks. I think, deep inside, I feel a little lonely from my usual presence'

Myra just got to be strong.

<(=_=)>

Experience worth breathing

Salam people.

I thought I would'nt have the chance to submit myself with online blogging. But, special thanks to my new friends: Najiha/G-ha, who is kind enough to lend me her small hp lappy, allowing me to update my .saya.gila.conteng.

After 4 days of working, I am currently breathing candy. New friends, new life cycle and extreme new environment! I think I'm facing another phase of adulthood. Experience had taught me a lot of things and I have no regret for taking this non-architecture-related-part-time job.

At first, I thought it was gonna be hard. But...it was. *lol*

However, every rolling cycle of it seems to be a whole lot of fun because of the people. I know it has only been 4 days but it feels like a year. Maybe because of the time spending and reckless bundle of works and waits.

Being apart from my usual home chores routine, honestly, was one of my greatest decision making.

'Mommy, ayah. I'm sorry for leaving both of you during this holistic month of the year. But, for once in my life, I wanted to lead my own life. I have never felt so...so....spirited. Being independent has always been my dream ever since I started feels a twitched of embarrassment having to rely much on both of you.

and thank you for finally understands me and even supported me from the beginning til now.

love you''

Tomorrow I might be travel somewhere at the north side of Semenanjung Malaysia. Outstation branches needed more staff for the registrations. Wish me luck~

the end

jealousy

Salam people.

Oh, before I start delivering my mind, I would sincerely wish all of you a happy Ramadhan celebration. I myself have made my very own check list I so-called 'azam baru' for this holistic month of the year.

may Allah give me good strength to realizes those dreams. (realistic one of coz!)

Amin~

Anyhow, my topic for today is jealousy. This topic might be a little personal related, I apologize.

Ive heard a lot of people mouthing about girls being irrational when it comes to jealousy. But I do not agree. I dont entertain sexism here and nowadays, I do not see the difference between these two gender.

Come on, open your eyes. Even the wordly events can tell us issues relating to jealousy never compromise through gender.

Lelaki ada, perempuan pun ada.

So, why put such labels?

Somehow, I see, this might be a medium for you (any person) to feel superiorly rational in everything and making the other person to look as if he/she was a little less wiser than you.

However, I do agree that the source of such evil feelings was between lack of trust and love. Maybe we should cherished the love more and therefore, the trust would eventually grow wild.

And we as a person should always be sensitive on how we act with others and how will it affect to the ones we love the most.

"perasaan ni adalah ciptaan Tuhan yang terindah". So, this is not a game and by taking it lightly, doesnt make you look a lot wiser than other people.

the end

life's a climb

Salam people.

The briefing went out quite...how do I say this, mmm...

surprising~

My working hour was dragged to 18 hours per day and there might be some outstation travelling happen. But what makes my heart willing to sacrifice those weighty responsibilities was the cut out due.

From a month working to 2 weeks of human torture. I think 2 weeks is good.

Now, Im no longer looking forward on the money, but more to the experience of hardcore work. I have been dreaming for a day like this. You might not know this, but I have longed for a heavy, torturious work load.

Why?

Because myratayeb percaya, kalau kita nak senang, kenalah bersusah2 dulu. I dont believe in immediate wealth. To me, that's just bullshitto.

Some people (like our parents) might be worried sick having to witness me (their own daughter) being treated like a robot, but the silent candy out of it was physical and emotion preparation strategies.

Lain kali, when I'll be facing hell of work, I might say to the future me

'Alaaaah, I can handle this kind of pressure. Come on, myra. You can do it. 'You've been through worst!'

hehe~ :)

Anyhow,

I've been having my usual drama with mommy. She seems to enjoy putting a huge blame on me for such a minor mistakes. It hurts.

(and it hurts even more when the fact that those tiny mistakes was something occur to her as well but I didnt go bursting anger at her. In fact, I just laugh about it and told her not to do it again *in a friendly way*)

I know some things I did was wrong and most of the time it was unintentional, she doesnt have to be so mean to me as if forgiveness never exist. :'(

Hard teaching dont work for a lovely soul like me....yes. I might look like a rockstar bitch to you, but im actually cherished delicacy better.

hard teaching will only bring me to rebel~

the end

morning breeze at noon

morning.

yeah, i know. its already noon~

what usually wakes me up is the striking sunlight and the heat by 9-10 a.m. temp. I couldnt bare the warmness out of it and its not myratayeb's comfort sleeping atmosphere.

However, today. Had brought me drag dreams till noon because of the rainy weather. (hihihi) Its so cold and comfy to be lying lazy underneath my fluffed pillow and blanket, my brain couldnt seem to figure how to move a muscle of this ideal comfort body.

yipi!

I had to be home alone for 2 days because of my work call. I think for these whole month of Ramadhan (dgn izin Tuhan), if my job were straightaway playing with no pauses/stops for a month they promise, there's gonna be a lot of home alones i'll be practising in the future.

My family is basically in Melaka celebrating a P&C event and Im happy for the one who deserves to be happy (to-secret-to-tell!!) happy happy happy and forgive me, I didnt manage to join in the celebration.

gomen neee~

Now is already 12.04 p.m. and my heart starts pumping upbeat tempo. Briefing session will starts at 2.00 p.m.

'dup dup dap dap dup dap dup dup dap dap!!'

my work brief ws spose to be yesterday at a hotel nearby but it end up cancelled due to the government (their blaming base). I'm just merely following their schedule and displaying in and out of a really good follower.

Buat apa nak berlagak boss, if you dont really know what you're doing kan? So, I dont really compromise how they sort things out at this early bird stage.

Ok, Ive babled much~ thank you for reading top to bottom. Even if you just simply scroll the whole thing, is a worth appreciation from myratayeb, personally.

the end

evil

Sometimes I forgotten how the world really works.

I forgotten that not all we plan are accordingly.

I forgotten that sometimes, evil just came by our path to say HELLo and I found myself lying dead on the ground, taking my time to recover from the pain till I could use my own energy and strength to stand up and move ahead.

I forgotten you, evil bastards~

p/s: next time, I must always be prepared for later when the evil comes, Im gonna kick u really hard, ur goin back where u r spose to be...HELLo!

the end

clearance

I went to UIA to settled my clearance before graduation, and everything was goin out so well, from library to the mahallah, until Ive reach my bottom tops at the finance unit.

I remember 2 semester's back, I wanted to close my finance chapter, therefore, I have already asked them to total up my final closure account and they told me I got RM190.00 left to pay.

Back and forth of time, I paid with RM200.00 cash extra Rm10.00 (sedekah)

Flying off with rainbows, Im clearing my financial statement with the RM130.00 graduation fees and my lidv payment. As I submitted the receipt thing at the financial unit, they suddenly called up my name and told me I had balance and my clearance plan wasnt settle (yet).

I got up to my feet and took the paper from her hands and in my grandparent's ghostly shockingness!!!! I have about RM400! LEFT TO BE PAID!!!! (0_0)!

I was so pissed off, I asked them out how could such things happen. And they could only give me such lame excuses and I was so angry on how they handle the student's money. MY MONEY! urgh~

menyusahkan org bukan~? lucky me I can just drive here in less than 10 minutes~

ok, now im off to finally settle my fee's~

chow! (^0-)n

facebook

any kind hearted people out there can teach me how to make a group in facebook?

oh, wait. i'll googled then...

*between independecy and willingness to learn from others*

p/s: which one's better?

the end

spoilt me

mommy ayah...

...spoilt me when they're home

i tink i need to rent a house...

INDEPENDENT SUCKO!!!

(>0<)O

when they're gone

hawdy people,

last night I've been mouth spitting with my dear friend through the phone and later it dings me how i miss having friends around.

Those gossips, stories, fights, loves, humoric, crazy, sad, crying and friendly moments feels far apart.

I'm just not ready to leave education surroundings. Please let me continue my Part 2, God.

p/s: gonna be shipping kain baju for my graduation day~ yipii!

The end

jaw drop

How was the interview?

It was superb!!! And the boss gave me a lot of jaw drops sacrifices I have to make and I knew if I was being unsure with the task, they would not pick me to involved with the whole project.

I went there pretty early (as u all know before) and when I put a dubious confident step inside the shop lots office, the environment seems pretty...casual. The air was filled with narcotise fragrance and guys were mainly manipulating the whole place.

Surprisingly, my boss was a tough woman and to be honest, I did pee-ed a little watching the way she's bragging on about her project missions and stuff.

NO SMS-ing during work

NO FACEBOOK

AND NO CHATTING

pitz! 0--pee-ed my pants

thats not the only jaw dropping moments, I had to work at 9 until 9! (buka puasa food is provided), might be 7 to 9 or even 7-10!! okok...i can handle long hours work shifts, shot me!

'we might going outstations several times, working days are 7 days per week, no more weekends for you and it might be a month or longer , oh, there, I just burn your raya celebration...hihihi'

(0_o") ok....im freaking out (but excited at da same time)

and your salary....mmm

(putting my 100% attention)

RM80-200.....per...DAY!!!! (omfg!!!)

*bygkan molot dah berbuih2 terlantar kt atas meja interview tu*

I WAN TIZ JOB!!!!! o----bdk ni dah lupa dah all those jaw dropping rules~

the end

interview

worst comes to worst.

My job interview was brought to today instead of friday. (suke2 ati je tuka hari interview last minute) (>-<)O And it brought me dancing in my pajama becuase Im totally screwed up with traffic route. I can never remember roads unless I was driving the car....alone....

Because even at the peak of a company at my side would turn me into a tame little baby cat. I would go purring for direction every minute and every second. Huhu...

So, basically, today is my very FIRST job interview and for the FIRST time in my life, I have actually googled the place and print screen the whole thing for future reference. (i dont feel so good)

(-__-") *tbe2 sakit perut*

now its almost 12, and the interview's gonna start at 3.oopm. I dont wanna end up screaming in the car when the time comes, therefore, yes yes yes, im already in iium (my starting point A googled map direction)

I just hope I wont get lost for hours...or should I'd be venturing the road now?

a friend promise to lead the way but even his shadow is no where in sight. Probably gonna be searching it alone. (if ayah finds out, hes gonna kill me)

what? what? oh, yes.

parents disagree with the job, child refuse to accept and just proceed her own mind blasting plan.

THAT's ME! har har har

oh God, wish me luck, lovers!

the end

who's right/wrong?

I never said you were right.

I never said you were wrong.

All I knew, I was sad and in pain when I discovered. And I was clueless to where I should put my shattering heart onto, I turn and placed my hands on this blog.

It's not fair because this is merely a one sided fiesta. The other might not sound as guilty is it was written, probably not at all.

But that was it. That was how I felt and I will not deny my feelings. People are different and it will stay till the very end. If you could not accept me for who I am, what more is it there to cherished?

I am very expressive and Ive done a lot of artsy things to settle down with my emotions. I play music, I dance, I sing, I act on stage and I write.

A little more time later, I would just went through my writings and said 'ahh, so this is how it feels like at that moment'. And I'll be laughing about it for a minute or so.

but somehow, this isnt a laughing matter just yet. Coz when things I thought was calming down, the wave from the South are suddenly approaching, with my usual scene of war.

Me and my words.

Maybe, I think maybe someday. It's best for me to just stop blogging and keep my controversial words to myself. Not a public reading materials I spose. Then, no one will be hurt and I will be able to continue my love in writing aka myra's express medium.

the end

money

money.

I am craving for money.

I want my holidays to be awesome, and i wanna do it and spend it with my own cash. I am done hanging under my parent's nose. It doesnt feel okay about it any longer. Im reaching adulthood and it makes me look like a jerk.

'YOU JERK!' (>0<)O

As my mind kept ignoring the idea of working in firms, a facebook status caught my eyes.

Its a part time job.

This is exactly what I needed for now. It doesnt have anything to do with architecture, just a matter of spending your time and energy with computers and people and walah! You've earn RM80.00 everyday. That is like totally awesome!

My eyes were sparkling with $$ and without further a due, I straight away clicking and double clicking and within a second, my resume was sent. I wasnt hoping much (TIPU), but later, the next morning, I ve received a call from the company and yes, I was called for an interview on friday.

My heart was thumping with flowers and chicken (somethin i love)!! I have never done a part time job in my whole life even get to lick my own fudging money!!!! TAK PERNAH! So, I was really hoping this plan will go on smoothly.

I think the job due was perfect because its gonna start from 1st August until 14th August and on the 15th, my brother will be back Malaysia. And by tht time, I can spend my money like shitting!!! (if i ever gt da job...oh god..plzzzzzzz)

Im collecting money for my hairdo treatment as well as my secret trip to Japan. Im gonna need at least rm2400.00....paling2 pon, if mommy and ayah are planning to give me tht trip as my graduation gift, I would only ask them to pay 1/3 from the exact amount...kui3~

Now, what I need is a good direction to the place (for the interview) and a goofy personality...eh..eh...i mean..GOOD..personality~

p/s: cross me fingers, wish me luck!

the end

im sorry

Ive watched this vid from youtube about how evil people can be through internet. And it makes me realize my own mistakes...

I know I hadnt been good, maybe through my facebook, formspring, my twitter especially in this blog...Ive never thought of how it would affect others who read my blog, emotionally...

Its pure selfishness, I know. Its just that, I take this blog as my so-called personal expression medium. What I stated here, obviously had something to do with people around me. And probably, one of those people happen to review my post everyday (who knos?)

and it might hav hurt them in any ways (my words can be pretty harsh)

and im sorry~

m(_ _)m

i hope that if u r totally involved, plz take my word as my current irrational angry state. Because, usually, when Im done writing, the feeling soothes away...and i'd be flowery fine.

i dont want to be the mean internet human... Im just a person who likes to write and blog bout how i feel. It really makes me happier doin so~

the end

future planning

I had been storing the financial report for weeks untouched and it doesnt make me feel okay bout leaving it to dust.

Sometimes, Id get lazy handling the money, I chose to ignore. But, oh well, how long can i bare ignoring the responsibilities. I just cant wait to end the whole thing so that'll manage to dance my holidays.

And the fact that I have to drive back to uia and discuss the issue with the lecturer had just piled up my time and work. Just wanna get it done ASAP.

So, basically now im waiting for a friend to stop by my house. And later we both moved our asses to uia to settle the whole darn english recommendation letter from the office coz it might save me from spending another rm600 for eilts tests. (crazy)

and yesterday I just sign up for jobstreet resume. I was hoping to get a job by september. Id made up my mind to get settling up with all those future options and applications for 2 months due and afterwards I'll be looking forward for job interviews.

Number one, deep in heart, Im dieing to fly overseas. It's not about getting the chance to brag bout it, but its just that I wanna explore and experience studying overboard. Even ayah suggested me to let me open such door as he did went to UK back then and it was a worth experiencing.

number two, if I get da chance to comtinue my part 2 in UIA, it hit my target to get my part 2 done ASAP.

number three is gonna be job search. Which im not truly ready for it but anyhow, these 2 months holiday will be my preparation charge.

I know a lot of them have filled their time with work, but that doesnt jeopardy my decision to take these 2 months rest fully.

Oh God, im nervous with my own future. Whatever You have decided for me to encounter, im sure its the best for myra~ im just shivering with thoughts right now. I can see myself studying aboard, working and even continue doing my part 2 in UIA....

the question is, which is my future reality?

the end